As Black As Midnight On A Moonless Night

Hello, yes, I’m still alive and well but have been so busy/lazy that I have been unable to make any trips into the dreaded back room and the PC. First of all Merry Christmas to anyone who stumbles upon this, I hope you all had a peaceful and heart-warming few days.

Plenty has happened since my last post but to be honest I’m too busy/lazy to go back and write individual entries so I’ll just supply you with a potted history of a few of my Crimbo shenanigans.

I received a phone call from the hospital on the 20th asking me to attend a cardiac clinic the following afternoon. The upshot of the visit is that I have been referred to a surgeon and can expect my operation sometime in February or March but in the meantime they are happy for me to return to work…yippee! I’m due to see the renal people on the 9th of Jan so as long as they are in concordance I should be back to the grind on the 10th, about bloody time. The consultant seemed to think my recovery period after the op would be about 3 months so I don’t want to be off too long before then.

Christmas day was its usual hectic but enjoyable self. Getting up around 7 Gill and I had a couple of hours to ourselves to open presents and prepare for the coming day. First stop was my parents where we exchanged gifts and drank copious amounts of tea with them and my youngest sister before heading up to Gosforth and my eldest sisters’ house. From there it was off to Westerhope to pick up Jean, Gills mum, who was having Christmas lunch with us this year. Back in Wallsend we tucked into Rib-Eye steaks with herb roasted potatoes and parsnip, caramelised carrots, pate stuffed field mushrooms, onion marmalade and a port and redcurrant jus…mmmmmmm!!!

Our day still not over we then headed up to Cramlington and Gills cousin Doug’s place. All of Gills side of the family congregate here every year for food, wine and a damn fine natter. We always have a quiz of some kind and as always I won which is now becoming tedious to both me and everyone else. I did try to throw it and allow the team of young nieces to win but they were having a ‘mare so rather than let someone else win… I keep telling them if they did a quiz about soap operas I would finish last but they never listen.

Yesterday was spent playing a few of our presents and generally taking things easy. We watched David Lynch’s Fire Walk with Me on DVD before going bed, both being Twin Peaks lovers. Whilst we both enjoyed it in a ‘God I wish I was drunker’ kind of way anyone who watches it without any prior knowledge of Twin Peaks would have been screwed. Speaking of Twin Peaks, isn’t it about time you released Season 2 on DVD David? Get you finger out mate!

It's That Time Of Year Again

Well I’ve finally completed my best of 2005 CD for Rob. For the purposes of the disc the music just has to be stuff I’ve heard for the first time this year so it could have been released at any time. This is just as well because I don’t think it’s been a vintage year musically. What follows is a track by track guide to the disc just to give you some insight as to just how appalling my musical taste is…

Barron’s ‘Örrible Cräp – Crapösaurus Alotäcus

Within Temptation – Ice Queen. Taken from the album Mother Earth. A more Celtic sounding version of Nightwish? Nah, not really, the Tempts, as I’m sure they must be known somewhere, are much easier on the ears and in Sharon den Adel they have a much better vocalist.

Kamelot – The Haunting. Taken from the album The Black Halo. Dream Theatre comparisons abound musically but in Khan they have a vocalist it is possible to listen to for a whole album. A top 3 album of the year.

Children of Bodom – Deadnight Warrior. Taken from the album Something Wild. Imagine if you can Yngwie Malmsteen collaborating on the next Cradle of Filth album, this is what you would end up with, no honest. A little heavier and gruntier than I normally like but damn good.

Ry Cooder – 3 Cool Cats. Taken from the album Chavez Ravine. A concept album about a Latino housing project and UFO’s? Sounds about right for my taste this year. Great late night drinking music.

Sonata Arctica – Reckoning Night. Taken from the album Reckoning Night. Where do these bands come up with these names from? It pays not to listen to the lyrics too closely on this one, I’m sure it’s lost something in the translation from Finnish.

Luca Turilli – Prince of the Starlight. Taken from the album Prophet of the Last Eclipse. This is just plain barking stuff from the Rhapsody guitarist. So over the top and badly written it is a masterpiece.

System of a Down – BYOB. Taken from the album Mezmerize. Loud, powerful and thought provoking SOAD have produced a mesmerising (sorry) modern protest song. Any track from the album would have deserved a place on here.

Ayreon – Day Eleven: Love. Taken from the album The Human Equation. The album is almost as OTT as the Turilli one but this track is more of a straight forward progy AOR sort of thing. Heather Finlay of Mostly Autumn does her best Kate Bush impersonation on this.

Demons and Wizards – Beneath the Waves. Taken from the album Touched by the Crimson King. Take Blind Guardians vocalist and add Iced Earth’s guitarist and you get half a great album. The other half is fairly ropey to be fair. Love Hansi’ voice though.

Coheed and Cambria – Welcome Home. Taken from the album Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV: Volume 1. From Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness. Yes it’s a concept album, how did you guess. This their third album is apparently the fourth part of the story, go figure. A dark, dirty album and definitely the best thing I’ve heard this year.

Kate Bush – Aerial. Taken from the album Aerial. This album was a pleasant surprise and not even the presence of Rolf Harris could put me off. Very laid back and calming.

Blind Guardian – War of Wrath/ Into the Storm. Taken from the album Live. The best Euro Metal band out there, full stop. The DVD is also cracking stuff, even the Spinal Tap’isms.

Nightwish – Wish I had an Angel. Taken from the album Once. Perhaps the most over rated rock band this year. The album is a generally fairly turgid affair but this is one of two decent tracks. Now looking for a new vocalist.

Chris Caffery – Music Man. Taken from the album Faces. This album from the sometime Savatage guitarist was one of this years most pleasant surprises. This is the mellowest track on the CD and has a nice bluesy feel which is missing from much of this year’s selection.

Paul Anka – It’s My Life. Taken from the album Rock Swings. Bon Jovi goes Vegas! I can’t help but have a smile listening to this, which can’t be bad.

Freedom Call – Dancing With Tears in My Eyes. Taken from the album Live Invasion. The Helloween sound’alikes take on the Ultravox hit and it’s as bad as you could possibly imagine.

So there you have it the obligatory Blue Oyster Cult rip off title and the dodgy cover versions to end things with. It’s not as varied as last years disc and there is a predominance of Euro Metal but that’s where I’ve been this year so…

Posted Robs copy today so he should get it before Christmas and I’ll give Billy his copy when I see him tomorrow after my trip to Whitley Bay. I stand ready to be shot down in flames.

Jingle Bells...

Bought and put up our Christmas tree today so we are now both filled with a nice, warm glow.

Grrrr!/Yawn (Take Your Pick)

Napoleons Columns

I really enjoyed my day on Thursday although the exertion did leave me somewhat bushed at the end of it all and I slept like a babe. Yesterday I was due to meet up with people from work again, this time for our Christmas night out. I was originally going to miss this because I was supposed to be in Budapest this weekend but doctors orders mean I could now go.

The venue was the Big Mussel, next to St James’ Park, which is as you may have guessed primarily a mussel restaurant but one which does a multitude of other dishes. I had been to the branch at the quayside before but not this one so it was nice to compare. The style of both the food and décor is very bistro, which is good, although the prices are a little higher, but not wildly so, and it was Christmas so what the heck. One of our Consultants very kindly offered to pay the drinks bill for which I, unlike some unfortunately, made a point of thanking him for despite his protestations that I didn’t drink enough to get a gnat pissed never mind a Christmas reveller.

The food was fine; I had an avocado and crab salad starter followed by steamed sea bass and finished off with a Belgian waffle and ice cream, all very pleasant. The bill, as always at these do’s, was split somewhat contentiously i.e. evenly which rightly annoyed those who had chosen from the cheaper set menu and who had also missed out on their coffee and mince pie from that menu. This sort of thing always happens so I kept well out of the way of any possible ‘discussions’, after all I had had very little to drink and hate arguing with pissed people whilst sober.

I did have a great night and almost felt as if I was back to normal and that I didn’t have my medical condition hanging over me, it was nice to escape. Through the course of the night I was privy to detailed discussions over the tactics employed at the Battle of Waterloo, why Nicki is much happier pissed than sober, the merits of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc and who would fall over first, David or Peter? The last couple of days have really lifted my mood and I definitely don’t feel as grumpy today, which has lifted Gills mood as well.

Bear Necessities

Well, battling the fog of gloom that had descended over me recently I made my way to work today. The purpose of my visit was purely pleasure as today was the date of the annual Charlie Bear Christmas Fair. Anyone of a certain age in Newcastle is sure to remember the charity appeal by our local rag, the Evening Chronicle, for a CT scanner to be installed at Newcastle General Hospital. The appeal had been set up a wonderfully eccentric woman called Daisy Clark who was selling teddy bears (Charlie) to raise money for the scanner. Daisy’s husband had recently taken ill and he was unable to get a scan in Newcastle so Daisy decided something needed to be done about it.

The appeal was one of the most successful ever run by the paper and everyone in the Newcastle area could tell you what Charlie Bear was all about. In fact the appeal was so successful that there were tens of thousands of pounds still in the kitty after the scanner had been bought and this was used to fund a radiographer post, a post that I held myself for a while. Several years later, with Daisy’s approval, Charlie Bear was ‘adopted’ as the charity figure-head for the Northern Centre for Cancer Treatment.

The Christmas fair always includes an auction and I always try and bid for at least one lot each year as my contribution to the fund. This year despite being ill I was determined that I was going to attend, so attend I did. My luck was out on the tombola stall run, as every year, by the staff of the local branch of Barclays Bank who kindly double any takings made on the stall. I was luckier with the raffle and won a cuddly toy but asked them to redraw. Truth be told I didn’t fancy making my way back to Wallsend clutching a 4ft tall purple and white puppy dog.

The auction got underway and there were several interesting lots including a days fishing on the Tyne for 2 rods and a Gillie, a telescope and various football paraphernalia. I ended up bidding for and getting a Sunday Lunch for 2 at the Robin Hood Inn on the Military Road. I thought it would be ideal for Gill and her mam to use when I’m in for my surgery.

On the subject of my surgery I enlisted the help of my Directorate Manager to try and speed things up, after all it’s in her best interest to get me back to work as soon as possible. It helps that she is really good friends with her opposite number at Cardiology. Lets hope I get some dates soon then.

Humbug

The last week has not been the adventurous one I had hoped for. In fact I find myself unable to sleep properly, grumpy, frustrated and, I imagine, a right pain to live with. I think the wait for things to happen is really getting to me at the moment and my coping mechanisms have been found severely wanting. I do have some things planned for later this week so I hope that pulls me around but in the meantime I sit around the house and do nothing but whimper against the injustice of it all.

Got The Goat

I spent this morning in the company of my parents as we ventured up to Newcastle to sample the wares of the farmers market. Both my mam and dad make this journey every time the market visits in order to stock up their meat for the freezer but I’m usually stuck at work and have only been able to make it once before. I was after some cuts of meat with which to make hearty winter stews but was really open to anything that caught my eye. In the end I was very pleased with my haul, a couple of packs of dry cured bacon, an ox tail, a couple of lamb shanks and, the joker in the pack, a neck of goat. I’ve never eaten goat before but the farmer said it would make an excellent tagine so what the hell.

It was nice spending time with my parents, it is something I am conscious of not doing enough of. I’ve no real excuse; they only live a 15 minute walk away. Knowing now just how fragile your grip on life can be it’s about time I made more of an effort to pop around more regularly. It’s something I think we would all enjoy and benefit from.

The Future is Beige

Although you may imagine my life is currently running at a snails pace whilst I await dates for further tests and surgery nothing could have been further from the truth over the last few days. Monday saw my latest visit to see the renal people up at the Freeman Hospital and, all in all, they are very pleased with how things are progressing. My blood pressure continues to fall as does the creatinine level in my blood so this, tied to the fact they are no longer concerned that I may have a papiloedema, has allowed them to lift my alcohol ban.

It’s funny but after having gone nearly 2 months without a drink I wasn’t as desperate to have that first pint as I would have thought. Truth be told there have only been a couple of occasions when I have missed the ability to partake, my brother and sisters 40th birthday do, a couple of meals and once wandering around town. I have missed the caffeine kick from my coffee far more, decaf is no substitute. I never thought I would say that, strange the things you learn about yourself during times like these. That’s not to say I have remained tee total since then, oh no. I did have 3 pints on Tuesday after wandering around town all day buying Christmas presents. I was much more successful this week than last with my purchasing attempts, thankfully, and the beer just capped a good day.

I’d met up with Graeme White in the early afternoon and after picking up a couple of things it was decided a beer was in order. I’d just assumed we would go to the Duke because, well, that’s where we always go but, and it’s a big but, Graeme informed me the Duke had undergone the dreaded ‘refurbishment’. According to Graeme this refurbishment has consisted of ripping out all the endearing features of the pub such as the wood panelling, glass screens and Duke of Wellington themed artwork, replacing it all with a slap of beige paint. They also appear to have cut back on the number of ales they serve. I don’t know, you let these people out of you sight for a couple of weeks and…. bastards! So we headed to the Haymarket and the Crown Posada. Nice ale and good company but I could have killed for a double espresso.

Next week I hope to tie up all the shopping that is required and spend some time relaxing. I’ve had an invite from Sid Smith to pop around for a cup of tea and a chat so I’ll have do drop him a line and organise that. I also have an invite to the Charlie Bear Christmas Auction, an annual event held at work to raise funds for the unit. I always end up bidding for something so I’ll have to make sure I don’t get too excited and screw my blood pressure up. Finally, Friday is the Trials Unit Christmas night out and I’m going to go along to that. I was originally going to miss it because Gill and I were due to be in Budapest but as we had to cancel that…

Oh and also…

Newcastle United were in action last night… no lets start that gain…Newcastle United turned up, just, for their game against Wigan last night. I don’t know what to say so I’ll leave it to the guys from NUFC.com.

Disgraceful

Wigan Res 1 Newcastle 0

Diabolical, deplorable, dreadful, shocking, pitiful, pathetic, embarrassing, unbelievable, dismal, feeble, useless, awful, appalling, abysmal, shameful, astonishing, staggering, atrocious, inexcusable.

You take your pick, but words simply cannot describe the depths to which this team fell tonight at the JJB Stadium.

The 1-0 scoreline flattered us. If we'd been 4-0 down by half-time we couldn't have complained after a first half that beggared belief.

Wigan's second string (their team had nine changes from the one beaten by Spurs) outclassed the strongest team we could muster to an alarming degree. At one stage the corner count was 11-0 in favour of the home side.

The fact that it took a dubious late penalty for our fate to be sealed was totally incidental as only some poor finishing and some decent stops by Shay Given had kept us in the game.

To say that we were ragged would be something of an understatement.

This was as close as you get to a bye into the quarter-finals of the Carling Cup and we blew it big time.

Where does that leave the current manager and his band of merry men? Well the half-time boos turned into cat-calls and cries of "we want Souness out" by the final whistle.

The Chairman was left in no doubt about current feeling when around 40 fans surrounded his Range Rover as it got stuck in traffic leaving the ground, chanting "Souness out".

Saturday is likely to see two sets of irate fans turning on their managers, should they still be there by then, of course....

What I want to know is can I sue them for ruining all the good work done by my blood pressure medication?

The Goose Is Getting Fat

It’s been 5 days since I had my ‘house arrest’ lifted and so far I have managed to get off my lazy butt just once to venture anywhere. With Christmas approaching at what seems like Mach 4 Friday was spent in town trying to sort out this years Christmas present purchases for Gill and the family. It shouldn’t have been too difficult because for the past 4 or 5 years we have gathered as a family to swap Christmas lists over a communal tea. Of course some of us find we have extensive ‘would like’ lists whilst others struggle past suggesting Next vouchers. From these lists we buy what we want and then inform everyone, except the recipient, to cross it off their lists to avoid duplicate purchases.

Armed with said list I thought I would have little difficulty making inroads into the chore but it proved more difficult than I had hoped. Gill and I like to be a little adventurous with our purchases, taking peoples requests and working around them to get something a bit quirky. As an example my nephew had asked for a hoodie, now I know my sister would like something smart from Next to fit the bill but I feel at 11 it’s about time he started to rebel a bit and what better way to do that than with a slightly more ‘dangerous’ hoodie. Perhaps something with “Satan says, Lock up your daughters” may be a bit too dangerous but I didn’t want to get him the safe, middle class option. Could I find anything, could I hell as like. I tried the skater shops, music stores, alternative clothing emporiums but nothing. I even tried John Lewis and Fenwick’s in a fit of desperation but the only dangerous thing there were the prices, £95 for a hoodie to fit an eleven year old!

I did manage to get a couple of things for Tony, my brother in law, and a couple of little bits and pieces for Gill, but that was it as far as presents were concerned. I ended spending much more on myself, hmm. I bought a thick, bum length, wintry type jacket to keep my poor kidneys warm, a long scarf and a couple of CD’s. On the couple of listens I’ve managed to fit in since getting them home I think I might just have hit on my top 2 CD’s of the year so far.

If it proves not to be my favourite of the year, though I think it will, Coheed & Cambria’s ‘Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV: Volume 1. From Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness’ has by far the best title by the proverbial mile. Its musical style is rather difficult to pin down, yes it’s predominantly Prog Rock but you also get plenty of touches of straight ahead Hard Rock, a splattering of West Coast lightness and I’ll be damned if they haven’t sampled the odd keyboard section from Hawkwind. Closest attempt at pigeon holing? How about Rush playing King Crimson or visa versa, that’s not quite right but it will have to do for now. What it is undeniably though is dark. Very, very dark, so dark I felt distinctly uncomfortable with it at times. It will take a couple more listens to get my head around it some more but no other CD has affected me quite as much this year.

On a much lighter note the other CD I purchased put a smile on my face and even had Gill laughing out loud. ‘Rock Swings’ by Paul Anka is just pure, light hearted bliss. He has taken some fairly well known and often cheesy rock classics from the past 25 years or so and given them the full, Las Vegas swing treatment. Favourites so far are Survivor’s ‘Eye of The Tiger’ and Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like teen Spirit’ which I can’t stand usually. The great thing about the album is that you don’t have to know the songs on it, although you will miss out on a couple of jaw dropping moments, because it stands on its own as a great collection of well produced, well written songs. Freed from their usual pigeon holes these songs are allowed to grow into something far more majestic than you could possibly imagine – brilliant!

Freedom(ish)

Hey hey, good news at last. My consultant phoned me yesterday with my latest results and told me that he feels happy to relax my house arrest somewhat. So, as long as I take things easy, I can now venture into town to do some shopping. This will please Gill because I think she was beginning to wonder when, or if, I was going to be able to sort out her Crimbo pressie. It also means I can pop down to the coast for a stroll, although I’ll still have to give the watering holes of Tynemouth’s Front Street a wide berth. Of course I plan to spend my first day of freedom in the house finishing some odds and ends I have been putting off. There just aint no pleasing some people.

It’s Showtime!

Back in the dim, dark, distant past i.e. the seventies UFO were a band seemingly always on the brink of breaking into rock music’s big time. They had a lot going for them, an insanely talented guitarist, a vocalist who didn’t feel the need to ape anyone else’s style, a showman bassist, rock steady drummer and a keyboardist/rhythm guitarist who could hold it all together. They even had managed to gain a foothold in the notoriously difficult American market. Like many others at the time however they failed to make that step up and fell apart in quite spectacular fashion. To make matters worse rather than giving things up as a bad job they continued through the years with various line-ups dragging their name through the mud. In all there must have been well over 30 different line-ups of UFO through the years.

The mid nineties saw something of a renaissance in UFO’s fortunes when the classic 70’s line-up were tempted to reform by the lure of rich Japanese fans throwing shed loads of money at them. Of course it couldn’t last and their insanely talented guitarist lived up to his insane tag and left the band mid tour on at least three occasions causing said tours to be cancelled. The other guys put up with this for about 10 years only because Michael Schenker, for it was he, owned 50% of the UFO name and the others couldn’t tour as UFO without him. They finally lost their patience and bought him out about 2 years ago replacing him with Vinnie Moore a much vaunted American with, importantly, no history of psychiatric problems. He joined the classic core of Phil Mogg (v), Pete Way (b) and Paul Raymond (k/rg), with new boy Jason “I’m Johns son you know” Bonham on drums.

This incarnation of UFO had been stable for about 18 months and complete a number of tours throughout Europe and the US before deciding to record a DVD on one of the German dates during this year’s spring tour. They chose Wilhelmshaven as the lucky venue and invited fans from across the globe to attend. Being the sad fan boy that I am I spent ages on the internet trying to work out how I could get over for the filming? However, I soon discovered that apparently it is the most difficult place in the world to travel to and wasn’t prepared to pay the several hundred pounds it would have set me back. I know, fair weather bloody fans, eh? I was, however, prepared to spend £15 on the resulting silver discs.

So what is it like I hear you ask? Well for a fan boy like me anything they put out would have its merits somewhere and it is a well put together package. But, oh I don’t know, it just doesn’t work for me. I see the pretty pictures and hear the lovely sounds but none of it really moves me. I want to be there smelling the sweat, feeling the crush up front with some 20 stone German breathing stale lager into my face. Perhaps that’s what it is supposed to do, make me wish I was there but I wanted something else, more immediate. I want some connection but the disc doesn’t give it to me. Look, it’s not a bad DVD, I would quite happily show it to someone as an example of what my favourite band were like and be quite proud of the lads. It has all the classic songs present and correct as well as 4 tracks off their latest CD to keep you happy…but…maybe my current health situation is giving me a different perspective on things and I’ll grow into enjoying it as things improve, we’ll see.

Oh, and by the way, in typical UFO fashion Jason Bonham has left the band since the DVD’s recording.

Brain Damage

I’m obviously feeling worse than I thought, or at least my brain is atrophying as I sit here at home. Yesterdays ECHO appointment turned out to be nothing of the sort, I had in fact not read the appointment card properly (i.e. at all) and the actual date of my scan is Wednesday the 16th of January. I guess I took one look at the word Wednesday at put 2 and 2 together to get 23,465,798 just the sort of thing that sometimes infuriates me about my own patients. Memo to self - be more tolerant of the poor souls in future, they’ve got a lot on their minds.

I guess I made the error because I expected everything to be planned in the near future and I imagine it will be something that the consultant speeds up when I see him on Monday. I also received 2 different appointment dates for another MRI scan today so I guess we’ll sort that out as well whilst we are at it. Truth be told I just want the whole thing sorted as soon as possible, yesterday preferably.

This morning was spent delivering my sick note to work and passing on some helpful hints to the girl who is covering one of my clinics at the RVI. It was nice to see everyone, well everyone who wasn’t off on the sick or away on holiday, which amounted to about a third of the unit. I then popped in to the ophthalmology department to get my eyes tested to make sure there has been no damage caused by the hypertension. I was given the all clear but was left with blurred vision caused by drugs which hyper-dilated my pupils so Gill was pressed into giving me a lift back to sunny Wallsend.

Tomorrow I plan to take things nice and easily, watch a couple of DVD’s and listen to some music. I managed to sneak a copy of UFO’s new live offering into the house yesterday so will have a good look at that once my eyes are back in focus and it’s about time I completed my annual ‘best of the year’ compilation to send down to Rob in Harrogate.

Just When You Think It Can't Get Any Worse...

Well after a metaphorical kick up the arse from Sid Smith today I’ve ventured back to blogland. My reasons for being away for so long are multitudinous and, frankly, rather lame but I did tell you all to expect this sort of thing in my first ever post.

What excuse do I feel like using then? Well let’s go for the health issue as it’s been the main focus in my life for the past 6 weeks or so. It all started with a headache I just couldn’t shift with any combination of preparatory medications and which felt as if someone was driving six inch nails though the temple of my voodoo effigy using a jackhammer. Being somewhat loathe to visit my GP I put up with this for 5 days before the sleep deprivation just became too much and I gave in.

As, I imagine, with most GP surgeries I was unable to make an appointment with my own GP at short notice and was given a slot to see someone I had never heard of never mind seen before. Don’t you just love the peace of mind the NHS doles out with its continuity of care policy? Anyway the GP gave me thorough going over and once I had convinced him that if I had been suffering from untreated meningitis for 5 days I might be dead by now so it would be safe to discount it he took my blood pressure. The look on his face as the reading of 210/105 came up was quite something and I have to say I’ve never come across one quite as high in all my time working in oncology. This spurred him into action and I was hurried out of the surgery with a prescription for some beta-blockers and an appointment for an ECG at North Tyneside General Hospital (Rake Lane) that afternoon.

I have only ever been to Rake Lane a couple of times before as a visitor and have never had the need to use public transport so I had no idea how to get there. Of course I didn’t admit this to the GP and so I wandered down to the Wallsend Metro bus exchange as I seemed to remember seeing busses heading up Rake Lane departing from there as I waited for my metro to work. I just got to the stop as a bus arrived and so I hopped on. 55 minutes later the bus eventually pulled up at the hospital after a wonderful magical mystery tour around the Hadrian Park housing estate and Cobalt Business Park, I guess I didn’t pick the express route. The ECG caused some concern to the staff who wouldn’t let me leave until both it and I had been examined by a medic from the coronary care unit. I wasn’t unduly worried as I have had a known heart murmur since birth and the quick glance I had of the ECG reading didn’t look like indicative of a heart attack to my admittedly untrained eye. A couple of hours and several blood tests later I was allowed to go home under the proviso I stayed off work and went back to see my GP ASAP.

So there we have it, at this point I had been cleared of any heart damage and my only problem was hypertension for which I was receiving medication. Of course that was 6 weeks ago and life has a way of complicating things just for the hell of it. To cut a very long story short and to maintain your will to live: I have been back to the GP surgery a further 3 times seeing a further 2 GP’s; my medication has been changed 4 times; I have been referred to a renal physician at Freeman Hospital and seen him twice; I have had a further referral to another renal physician and been her ‘guest’ on ward 4 at Freeman Hospital; I have had an ultrasound scan of my kidneys; I have had an MRI Scan of my aorta; and, finally (?), I have had enough blood taken to make several black puddings.

My current medical position is that I have suspected Fibro Muscular Hyperplasia of my renal arteries and a confirmed coarctation of the arch of my aorta. I am currently under ‘house arrest’ at home and am not allowed to go out without telling anyone where I am going and taking my mobile phone but preferably going everywhere accompanied. Oh, and by going out anywhere my consultant recommended the bottom of my street and back! I have a further appointment to see the consultant on Monday and ECHO scan this afternoon for which I have to make my way to the Freeman which is just a bit further than the bottom of the street, eh Mr Consultant? The likely course of action is to have some angioplasty on the renal arteries and surgery to remove the coarctation if they can’t stent it. All in all I don’t think I am going to get back to work this year, Gill and I have had to cancel our long weekend we had planned for December in Budapest and, yes, AND I've been told I can't drink alcohol at least until this is all sorted and maybe never again!!!!!!!!.

Not the world’s greatest excuse for ignoring the old blog here especially as I’ve been at home with access to the PC but as you can imagine I’ve had one or two things preying on my mind recently.

Feels Like Coming Home

After work today Gill and I are to pick up Floyds ashes from the vet. I imagine the rest of the night will be shrouded in tears and drowned in alcohol.

Yeah, Yeah I'm Getting There - Part I

So then, Barcelona, what was it like Chris? I hear you all scream. OK so it might not have even reached a general murmur but I’m going to tell you anyway. After all I’ve got to think of something to write for this thing.

To be honest things didn’t get off to that great a start. We arrived at the hotel just before three and our room was still not ready. That’s alright we thought, it will only take a few minutes and we can have a gin in the bar whilst we wait. As the time approached five and we were still waiting it safe to say we were not happy bunnies. The staff on the desk were unmoved by our concern and to be honest were as poor then as they were throughout our stay, it’s just as well the other hotel staff were excellent. It was if the front desk had only been in operation for a week or so and still experiencing teething problems. Inexcusable for a five star hotel that had been open for a year.

Anyway, the hotel was situated at the top of the Gran Via about 20min gentle stroll from Placa Catalunya, or about 5min by Metro. We walked into and out of town as many times as we took the Metro, including a very wet Friday night when the Metro had shut down for the night and every Taxi was occupied. It was generally a very pleasant walk past the splendours of Gaudi’s La Pedrera and Casa Botillo as well as the stores of major fashion houses such as YSL, Armani and Hugo Boss. OK so we also had to walk past McDonalds and KFC etc but, hey, you can’t have everything. One of the delights of the Gran Via are the abundant book stalls selling both new and second hand books of all shapes, sizes and languages. Gill didn’t think the stalls were that delightful and so we skirted past them, shame.

Despite our intention to avoid doing touristy things and just chilling out we did make a trip to the Picasso Museum. The museum contains many of his earlier works and gave an interesting insight into his artistic development. As always with these kinds of places it was difficult to take a long uninterrupted look at any of the works because of the sheer number of people trailing around the galleries but you have to accept it’s always going to be like that. Tourists, eh, always spoiling everyone else’s fun. The rest of the week was spent trying to avoid tourist hot spots but that’s not always easy in a city like Barcelona, although we did find a couple of gems.

The weather was very good most days, bright sunshine and high temperatures, well very good for Gill but a bit too hot for me. We did however have a couple of consecutive days of rain and dark brooding skies which helped me cool off a bit. I felt a little sorry for anyone who had popped over for a few days only to be met with that weather. It might not have been so bad if they had been before and knew a couple of places they could hang out but for anyone new to the city and wanting to see the sights it can’t have been pleasant. I suppose on the bright side it would have given them a very good excuse to come back.

Quark, Strangeness and Charm

I had two very pleasant surprises yesterday; the first was that we were called by Steph to say that she had been contacted by Newcastle University to say they had some returned tickets for that nights lecture by Philip Pullman. The second surprise was just how much I enjoyed the lecture and how much it got the old grey matter working. Not that I had expected the lecture to be a poor one but, as the inaugural Fickling Lecture on Developments in Children’s Literature, I was worried that perhaps it would be little too child friendly. I need not have worried as it took Pullman mere minutes to lose most of the audience aged below thirteen whilst enthralling the rest of us.

His title of ‘Strangeness and Charm’ was taken from his, as he admitted, somewhat limited knowledge of Quantum Physics and expounded his belief that without due care taken of the minutiae of a story there can be no story. He illustrated this with the use of three short passages from a couple of his books to “tease apart the fundamental forces that hold stories together”. He described the use of schema and metaphor to develop a story in which the characters can “live” rather than rattling around in lists of descriptive prose. At least that’s what I think he was getting at.

After the lecture there was a book sale courtesy of Blackwell’s so Gill and I invested in a copy of his latest work ‘The Scarecrow and His Servant’ which the man duly signed for us. Following this a beer was needed so a trip to the Hotspur was undertaken as it was just around the corner. Billy and I helped ourselves to a pint of Warlock Stout from the Houston Brewery whilst Gill had a half of cider and Steph, nursing something of a ‘day after the night before’ problem, had lemonade. The beer was so good that a second round was called for and all thoughts of cooking tea put firmly to the back of my mind. In the end I had a couple of peanuts and a handful of crisps to accompany my very large gin and tonic kindly poured for me by Gill once we made it back home. The rest of the night was spent agreeing with Pullman that once severed from your Daemon the world can seem a cold, empty, lifeless place.

A Fog On The Tyne

So Ok I guess I have left this long enough and can finally get something coherent(ish) down here. It’s strange the tricks your mind can play when it’s dealing with loss, it is almost like being permanently hung over because your mental speed is so greatly reduced. I was going to say that I must be getting over last weeks events but I know they will haunt me in some form or another for the rest of my life but the fog caused by the initial shock is beginning to lift. Gill, Coral and I are learning to live in our now lop sided dynamic and each of us is coming to terms with the change to our family group. Gill and I have an advantage over Coral because we can discuss our loss and support each other through it whilst she wanders the house crying out for her brother to come out from where ever he is hiding. I long to be able to explain to her why he can’t answer her but all we can do is give her as much attention as we can. If ever there was a sound created to tear shreds from your heart it is the sound coming from Coral at the moment.

Today is my first day back at work today but I don’t feel in any way refreshed from my leave. There were several hundred emails waiting for my return many of which need to be actioned and a nice pile of correspondence currently giving me the evil eye for not having opened it yet. I have had to hit the ground running with meetings lectures and patients all booked in for my attention today, at least it has kept my mind active. To be honest I was expecting to walk into a far bigger shit heap than I have and if I keep at things at the rate I maintaining today I should have the backlog cleared by the beginning of next week at the latest.

Speaking of backlogs there is a whole load of stuff I need to put on here over the next week or so, photos of Barcelona anyone?, so I’ll try and fit that in during my lunch breaks.

A Hole In My Heart

Floyd Barron 1994-2005.

I miss you mate.

Green Gives Me The Blues

Well, somewhat unbelievably, England are still able to qualify as group leaders for the World Cup but after the last couple of games I’m not sure we would deserve to. Last night they managed to lose to a Northern Ireland side who, although hard working, were probably markedly inferior in every position on the pitch. The biggest difference was that Northern Ireland were playing a system they were comfortable with and each player was aware of their role within that system, England, on the other hand, looked clueless. For the second game in a row we played a 4-5-1 system that seemed to be played solely to accommodate all our midfield ‘stars’, leaving the lone striker effectively isolated and easily marshalled by the defence. They looked as toothless as Newcastle, which is a tad worrying considering our new £16+M striker was playing.

Chivers Jelly Comes To Mind

Today is my crystal wedding anniversary, Gill and I have now been married for the grand total of fifteen years. I don’t think either of us would argue that some of those years have been the best of our lives, in fact a couple have downright stunk, but the majority have been great and I’m eternally grateful that we’ve managed to put the bad ones behind us. Had I known the amount of pain I would cause and suffer I’m not sure I would have gone through with the ceremony but I’m very pleased I did and even the worst of times have had their positive effects. If this is beginning to sound like an anti marriage rant it’s not meant to, I would heartily recommend the institution to anyone who wants to marry. The most important thing is the wanting to, without that it will never succeed.

We haven’t bought each other gifts this year because of our impending holiday in Barcelona during which I’m sure gifts will be bought and exchanged. Normally Gill would just get me a CD or DVD I’d been harping on about, I’m a man of simple tastes, and I would have gotten Gill a little something or other. This way we can get each other something a little bit out of the ordinary, although there is a great street off the Ramblas full of CD shops...hmmm. We are also forgoing our usual anniversary meal over here to go somewhere a little bit special over there. I don’t have anything in mind but I’m sure the hotel could point us in the right direction or we could fall back on an old favourite such as Pla.

Last night my dad popped around to drop off a card and some wares from his allotment, some very nice tomatoes and shallots. I always leave the card opening to Gill; she thoroughly enjoys that kind of thing, so I popped into the kitchen to put the kettle on. As I saw her pick up the envelope I thought it looked familiar and she burst out laughing once she had opened it. At this point I just knew it would be the very same card I had bought her but had yet to hand over and sure enough it was. I must admit that my parents’ dedication was a lot cleaner than mine and as you can see below I had plenty of scope to go to town on this one.

Both Gill and I have to admit that had we been the models ‘things’ would look much less taut than they do in the image.

Just Scan From The Neck Down Please.

Freddy Shepherd must have been taking neurosurgery lessons because it appears as if he has managed to perform a lobotomy on Michael Owen who...get this...has agreed to join Newcastle United on a four year deal. Owen flew over to the UK yesterday for talks with both Liverpool and Newcastle with a view to securing a move away from Real Madrid. After spending a couple of hours talking over the move with Rafael Benitez, the Liverpool manager, he drove up to Northumberland to talk with a Newcastle contingent of Freddy Shepherd, Alan Shearer, Graeme Souness and Dean Saunders. Most people assumed he was just being polite; he’s that kind of guy apparently. But no, one of the biggest transfer shocks of recent years is now a reality; subject to a successful medical (do they do brain scans?).

I can only assume that Real have rejected Liverpool’s offer or that Benitez has put his foot down and said that he didn’t want Owen in his side, after all he hasn’t been very vocal in his wish to see Owen play in red. It will be interesting to see how both Newcastle and Owen play things at the press conferences. Owen hasn’t exactly been crying from the rooftops in a wish to play for us, quite the opposite, but I would have thought he’ll make all the right noises when required. Most fans will have forgotten all the negative stuff after hearing of his signing and he will get a heroes reception when he pulls on a black and white shirt for the first time. I hope this turns out to be a dream move for both parties and he thinks of this as the best decision of his career by the time he has to write his memoirs.

Pointless Weekend

Another Sunday, another Premiership game for Newcastle, another defeat and once again no goals. Not that many people will have been surprised by the result or even the 2:0 score line for that matter. The disappointing things were that barely troubled Van Der Sar apart from an overruled effort by Luque, we lost three midfielders to injury and the fact that both goals were down to defensive errors. Luque’s performance a mere 2 days into his Newcastle career did give some cause for cheer but not much else could be considered positive. Now only a wholly woeful Sunderland can ‘boast’ a worse record and things need to be addressed very quickly. Hopefully the next few days before the transfer window closing will see the arrival of at least a striker plus, hopefully, a left back and a centre back.

I’m not even close to panicking yet and still think we can qualify for Europe but only if we get a goalscorer. The word on the net is that Liverpool have lined up a deal that will take Cisse to France, take your pick from Marseille, Monaco or Lyon, thus opening the door for Michael Owen to step right through. The one stumbling block to this plan is that they are only prepared to offer the £8M they received last year from Real Madrid for the player. Owen still maintains Merseyside is his preferred destination. Dirk Kuit of Feyenoord, another potential target according to the rumour mongers, has expressed a wish to remain in Holland and Everton have allegedly had a bid of £10M rejected. All in all the options appear to be dwindling and time is running out; ask me on Thursday if I’m still not panicking.

Gaming With Mr Gygax

Last night I sat in a room with a government advisor on Broadband, a primary school teacher, a Clinical Lead in Speech and Language Therapy, a librarian, a youth worker, a railway engineer and a housewife (live in lover?) and we played Dungeons and Dragons (D&D). Yes that’s right Dungeons and Dragons; you know the game that they were playing just before they discovered ET in the movie. If that sounds a bit childish of us perhaps I can make it a bit more adult by saying we each drank about 2 bottles of wine each over the course of the evening. Or does that make us sound even more childish?

I have been playing D&D for over 25 years now through most of its incarnations from Chainmail and on to the current version 3.5. I started at school under the tutelage of a couple of guys in the year above me and before long was a regular in their ‘group’. Sessions would be held in one or another’s bedroom and were usually accompanied by the sounds of our latest record purchases and the odour of burning joss sticks. I was never really sure what the respective parents thought of it all, they were probably just happy we weren’t hanging out on street corners. Of course back then we didn’t just stick to D&D, we also had regular sessions where we played Traveller, Bushido, Top Secret and Call of Cthulhu amongst many others.

I never subscribed to the notion that Role Playing Games (RPG’s) caused me or anyone else any harm. These comments usually came from religious evangelists who just wanted all kids to be in bible class and couldn’t understand that playing a game that had the potential for the mention of Daemons and Devils was no more harmful than reading about them in the ‘good book’. RPG’s are even now still stigmatised as being somewhat deviant as are those who play them. If only our bosses knew eh? Well in the case of my boss he would jump at the chance of a game so I don’t know what that says about the psychiatric profile of the Clinical Trials Unit in Newcastle, hmmm.

Anyway please see the photographic evidence below and make your own minds up on just how deviant we all look.

As usual you’ll have to wait for the photos. I’ll try and get them on before the weekend.

Is There a Brain Surgeon In The House?

You may have noticed I have avoided any talk of Newcastle United since the start of the season. Well there is a very good reason for this...embarrassment. With a grand total of one point from three games played and as yet no goals scored the fears of even the most pessimistic supporters are being realised. With our next game at home to Manchester United this points total is unlikely to change this weekend and already the odds have dramatically fallen on Graeme Souness being the first managerial casualty of the premiership season. To be fair at Wednesdays defeat away at Bolton the supporters got behind Souness and chanted his name through the game whilst calling for the head of Chairman Freddie Sheppard.

Fat Freddie as he is ‘affectionately’ known was the Chairman who was caught slagging of his team, players, fans and city during a sting by the News of the World in a Spanish brothel...what a guy! He, along with John and Douglas Hall, has been creaming off excessive dividend payments from the club over the last few years and none seem to offer anything positive in return to the club. Every transfer window is greeted with wild statements from Mr Sheppard telling the fans of huge bids for players who would have no intention of playing in Newcastle; see Wayne Rooney last year and the ongoing saga of Michael Owen (as yet still lobotomy free). The majority of the fans would much rather he kept his fat mouth firmly shut and got on with the job in hand, trying to steer the club away from the bottom of the table and towards the top.

Newcastle’s main problem at the moment is the lack of any firepower up front. The strikers of first team status currently at the club are:

Alan Shearer who is several seasons past his best and to be honest should just be making appearances from the bench this season.

Shola Ameobi who, despite the hope of all on Tyneside, looks likely to amount to nothing more than a very average Premiership player or decent Championship player. Does any other player have such slow speed of thought?

Michael Chopra who is not a Premiership quality player but could do quite well in the lower leagues and is currently injured.

All in all the lack of goals so far this season is not surprising and perhaps because of this Freddie has made agreed a fee for Albert Luque of Deportivo la Coruna despite claiming there would be no new offers after his ‘final offer’ for the player last week. Luque is a left side player, which we desperately need after the sale/loan of Laurent Robert, and operates as an attacking midfielder/supplementary striker. I have always enjoyed watching Luque play in La Liga and I think he is a good buy for Newcastle but, and it’s a big but, he is not a twenty goals a season striker. If we are to make any progress we still need to acquire someone who will net us close to that mark this season and for the next four or five.

This brings us back to Michael Owen, if ever there was a player as desperate not to join another club, as Owen is with Newcastle, I have yet to hear of him. He has been quoted as saying that he would be happy to join Arsenal, Manchester United and, preferably, Liverpool on a full term basis but would only join Newcastle on a one year loan if all other possibilities fail. It’s so nice to feel wanted as a club. In some ways I hope we don’t take Owen on loan, even if he would be ideal for the club, after all can you imagine the crowd reaction as he begrudgingly makes his debut or if he misses a sitter against Liverpool, ouch! It would be a far from ideal scenario for all parties and I can’t imagine the player responding positively to the situation and even a full transfer, though very welcome, could be difficult now.

Short Back and Sides

I had taken a day off from work today in the anticipation of having something of a hangover after Sunday’s beer train but rather surprisingly felt quite bright. Despite not getting to bed until one in the morning after several nightcaps of Bowmore I was up and at ‘em early. Gill on the other hand managed to have a nice lie in until about 10:30 so it is as well she had taken a half day just in case of such an event. Taking things at a leisurely pace I went into town with Gill at 12 with the express intention of buying some gear to wear for our holiday.

My first stop was at the barbers for a much needed clipping. I have been going to the same barbers for about five years now and enjoy its very old world charm and the banter of all the lads who work there. It is the only place I know in Newcastle where you can get a hot towel shave with a cut throat razor, although I have yet to enjoy the experience myself. From the barbers it is just a short walk up into the centre of town and the main shopping areas. I’m not a great clothes shopper, I never feel comfortable in the shops or with the staff. I always feel as if they are having a quiet snigger at me as I pick up items they obviously deem to be unfashionable but well suited for me. Paranoid? Me?

To be fair most of this discomfort stems from the fact that for more years than I would care to mention all I wore were jeans with t-shirts or white linen granddad shirts and a pair of trainers/cowboy boots. Basically your standard rock fans dress code. What with my advancing years and receding hair line I dropped the rock look and started to dress in a more conventional manner. This of course meant I had to introduce myself to such weird places as Top Man, Burtons and Next and their bewildering range of garments. I still marvel at the fact that I can buy a concert ticket and tour t-shirt and still spend less than I have to in order to buy a t-shirt by, say, Diesel, astonishing. Anyway despite being armed with these fears and prejudices I walked away from Next with two pairs of trousers (cords and linen, in case you were interested) and a couple of t-shirts (green and red, ditto). My attempts at purchasing a pair of brown leather casual shoes were, however, thwarted by an attack of indecision.

By this point I was losing patience with both myself and the fact that due to the school holidays Newcastle was packed with hormone ravaged teenagers and yapping pre-pubescent kids. Taking my leave I headed down to the Quayside, bagged myself a cheese and onion pasty from Greggs and made for the Ouseburn and the sanctuary of its many watering holes. Along the way I noticed a greater volume of traffic than is usual in this part of town. This was down to the number of middle class couples carrying Baltic carrier bags turning right off the Millennium Bridge and families with young kids walking hand in hand. The reason for this I realised was that they were all making for the newly opened Centre for Children’s Books. Unfortunately the museum is not well sign posted and you have to pass through a slightly run down area to reach it causing some to turn back and others to grip hands more tightly and up the pace. All very amusing as I sat outside at the Tyne watching it all whilst supping my pint. I must have looked particularly rough as none of the quite obviously lost passers by stopped to ask me for directions.

Pleasant Valley Sunday

The Tyne Valley is one of the most beautiful stretches of countryside I know with some wonderful towns and villages dotted along it. The Tyne Valley Railway services these communities, running from Newcastle to Carlisle it is blessed with some of the best views of any rail journey. When I first qualified as a Radiographer, back in 1988, I worked for a time in Carlisle and was a regular commuter along the line, invariably armed with a book and my walkman. The journey was usually uneventful, there would be the occasional disruptive drunk, screaming kids or excessively talkative stranger, the usual stuff, nothing out of the ordinary. On Sunday this journey took a stroll down Salvador Dali Way and on into Surreal Place via Whatthef**k Avenue.

Anyone who had not been forewarned could be forgiven for thinking they had passed into another dimension as they entered the train, their senses assaulted by the sight and sound of 10 ukulele players from the Ukulele Allstars strumming merrily away at one end of a carriage. To further add to their disorientation the other end of the carriage had been taken over by a couple of barrels of Real Ale and Cider kindly provided by the Wylam Brewery. Welcome aboard the second of this years Event Trains organised by the Tyne Valley Initiative (or something like that...couldn’t find a link), enjoy the ride.

Joining me on this...err...trip were Gill, Billy, Steph and my youngest sister Lisa. Everyone bar Lisa, who we met at Central Station, had been into Fenwick’s to pick up some nibbles from the deli and then on to the Duke for a libation or two prior to the journey. Suitably oiled we headed to the station passing a number of ukulele wielding people before bumping into George Welsh leader of the Allstars. George had been the star of a similar event last year which we had also attended and is a well known figure in the local music scene. On to the platform and there was the beer laden trolley waiting to embark, all the pieces were falling into place.

There were one or two passengers on the platform warily eying all this up with a mixture of confusion and amusement, wondering what was going on. Once aboard it all became clear to them and there was a frantic five minutes of seat swapping as people either moved to be clear of the beer/ukuleles or tried to get closer. We were lucky (depending on your point of view of course) and sat only a couple of seats from the entertainment. Through the journey we were treated to tunes by Simon and Garfunkel, Donovan, Bad Company, Jeff Beck and Status Quo amongst others, but no George Formby, unfortunately. As we progressed further along the line and more alcohol was consumed the ‘sing along’ atmosphere intensified and the volume rose accordingly.

Seeing the looks on the faces of unsuspecting travellers was as much fun as any other part of the journey. Some would enter the train, take one look and head straight to the other carriage whilst others would stand and watch for a minute or two before deciding we all looked relatively harmless and that the beer looked particularly appetising and so joined in. I was invited to show my ukulele prowess for one of the songs as they no doubt recognised a fellow muso, so I strummed my 2 taught-there-and-then cords along to...well I don’t know really, I was too busy trying to play the correct cord at the correct tempo (I failed) to worry about what song I was playing. I’m sure it happens to Clapton all the time.

After three and a half hours the frivolities came to an all too soon end leaving us all wanting more. I think we will make a point of turning up at one of the Allstars sessions at the Cumberland or Stout Fiddler and maybe, just maybe, join in with the playing again. Apparently you can pick up a good ukulele for about £40 in some of the instrument shops in town. Even Gill professed an interest in giving the ukulele a go because it looked like fun so I might have stumbled upon an idea of what I could get her for Christmas! (I now await a panicked call from Gill telling me that something from Richard Sinton’s would be a much better idea thank you very much.)

Photos on the way as soon as I feed the dial up hamster.

Energy Rating: A+

Well it had to happen, we’ve just booked an expensive holiday, Gill wants a new car, and it’s nearing the Christmas shopping period so obviously the washing machine has taken upon itself to self destruct. It hasn’t quite completed the process just yet but every cycle is currently accompanied by the dulcet tones of metal grinding on metal. I’ll give it two more cycles before it finally gives up the ghost. All of which means a trip into town tonight to compare different makes and models, I can’t wait.

Having had a cursory browse on the internet it appears we will not be lost for options

• How many washing programmes would we like?
• Do we need a hand wash facility?
• What maximum spin cycle speed is required?

And on the green side of things...

• How energy efficient is the machine?
• How much water does it use on a standard cycle?

All this information and much, much mare is available for every model out there and there are a lot of them.

I just know I’m going to get a headache tonight.

Hello...Is There Anybody Out There?

It’s too hot to work today, far too hot, I feel awfully sweaty, which I guess you really wanted to know, sorry. I have a real problem with heat and I always end up dripping with sweat. It’s so bad I have to wear white shirts for work because when I wear coloured shirts all you can see are gross sweat stains, yuck. I’m painting a lovely picture of myself here aren’t I. it’s just as well I’m happily married and I’m not using this as an avenue to hit on women !

Which brings me today’s point, in a round about way. Who actually reads this s**t? I know some have my friends pop in to have a laugh at/with me but are there people out there reading this who don’t know me? If so how did you end up here? I occasionally click on the ‘next blog’ button on the top of the screen to see where it takes me, I like the random chaos that ensues...Toyota spare parts anyone?...how about Californian Insurance?...not to mention wedding photographs aplenty. Within this morass though I have occasionally stumbled across another diary and spent a couple of minutes perusing the trials and tribulations/joy/pain/hope contained within. Clicking onto the profile page and following the links therein takes me even further into the depths of the blog world and I’m often left surprised at the different personalities with the same interests.

All part of life’s rich tapestry I guess.

Dripping Wet

I got soaked through to the skin on Saturday as I was caught in a flash storm heading into town. When I had left the house it was pleasantly warm but slightly overcast but by the time the bus had reached Byker the skies had darkened, the temperature dropped and the heavens opened. In the time taken to cross the 5 yards from the bus to the nearest cover I was drenched and so gave up and just trudged along to the Duke. Billy had been luckier and had dived into Spin just as the worst of the rain hit and so was relatively dry when he arrived.

It was the first day of the Premiership season and we stood watching the scores come in as I drip dried. To be honest our hearts weren’t in it with Newcastle not playing until the Sunday and this was also the first year we had not been involved in a fantasy football league. The fantasy league was not run this year as Glen who co-ordinated it had relocated to Liverpool due his work. I think both Billy and I felt a sense of loss standing watching the scores come through but having nothing riding on what we saw. We gave up before half time and fell back on that old faithful, record buying.

I’ve been going through a bit of a Heavy Metal phase recently so anything with a cover depicting dragons, warriors, spaceships or any other kind of science fiction/fantasy cover was fair game. I’m not really up on all the subgenres and what exactly each sounds like; Power Metal, Grind Core, Viking Metal, Battle Metal, and Symphonic Gothic Metal etc. etc. I just like loud guitars. I tend to go on gut feeling and it’s something that has worked very well over the years. Saturdays gut feeling led me to Nevermore’s ‘This Godless Endeavour’ and The Children of Bodom’s ‘Something Wild’. Both turned out to be a little heavier than I would normally go for, grunted vocals and all, but I enjoyed both and I think there was enough there for me to further explore their back catalogues.

Before bankrupting ourselves we retreated to the relative safety of Steph’s flat, drinking and chatting our way through to midnight. Perhaps Steph’s offer of a ‘small’ brandy before we left should have been politely refused. I’m getting old, I know I am. My tolerance for alcohol is fading so fast that I almost need to book a day off afterwards to recover and, for the second week running, my Sunday was spent atoning for my intake on Saturday. Well I’m off now to surf for detox remedies and a nice comfy pair of slippers.

Hypocrites Also Feel Pain

At 2:00 today I will be attending the funeral of David’s brother, it’s not something I’m looking forward to. I am attending with Jan who also works in the unit and possibly Susan if she can finish with her auditor in time (in an apt sense of surreallity her auditor today is called Jesus). I think it important that, as a unit, we can offer David some support and hopefully it will make his eventual return to work a little easier. He needs to know we understand and sympathise with the pain and hurt he is feeling at this moment.

I’m not a great funeral person and not just because I don’t like to see people hurting. I’m not a religious person and feel hypocritical when taking part in any religious service. I feel uncomfortable reciting words in which I have no belief and often have the opposing view of and so usually stand in silence. Funerals in particular I often find to be cold, impersonal and comfortless. The service, largely unchanged in hundreds of years, is the same for everyone and, I feel, strips the individuality from the person rendering them to just another chore for the priest/vicar/pastor etc. etc. etc.

Only when the deceased is an active member of the congregation does any sense that we are there to say farewell to an actual person seem to permeate into the proceedings. I know David’s father is a religious man and I assume the rest of the family have similar views so I hope they find the strength and comfort they are going to need today from the service. I would never criticise anyone from taking strength from whatever source they find to be most helpful regardless of my views on that source.

I know that it is my wish not to have any religious aspect to my farewell do, not funeral, farewell do. Unfortunately I recently attended the funeral of Steve whom I had known for 20+ years and was the long term partner of another work colleague Jane. I’ve never had such a good time at a funeral as I am sure all who attend thought. The feeling of loss was palpable but the service, delivered by a member of North East Humanists, concentrated on everything Steve had left behind for everyone and by its end all present had laughed at least once and there were smiles on their faces. When I go I hope the Humanists help me put as many smiles on as many faces.

Toilet Tales

Well the trip to the vets was not as bad as it could have been, the bill came in under £100 due mainly to the fact that there was no litter to be had and Floyds eye was OK...just looks strange. We’ll have to hunt out some Catsan soon or suffer the consequences. The picky buggers that Floyd and Coral are, they will only use Catsan, and anything else in the litter tray is an open invitation to them to use the rest of the house as a toilet. Gee if only when I started to post I realised I would be talking about my cats toilet preferences... I bet you’re soooooo glad to be reading this.

Gratuitous Pussy Stuff

When I was a youngster and I pestered my mam about getting a cat she always said that once I had a house of my own I could get one. Unfortunately she had not passed this information on to Gill who balked at the idea of her (note not our) furniture becoming a scratching post. However on my thirtieth birthday Gill deposited two little bundles of fluff in my lap and told me she was off to get some litter and food. I was stunned and didn’t know what to say which caused Gill to think she had made a big mistake. Far from it I was entranced by them from the word go.

The little grey bundle of fur instantly became Floyd, the name just fell into place and I couldn’t contemplate him being called anything else. The little peachy, pink, beige bundle of fur proved to be more of a problem. My initial choice of Pink was instantly dismissed by Gill who refused to be seen calling for Pink Floyd in the evening, I guess she had a point. In the end ‘Coral’ kind of fit and so she became, although I still don’t think her name fits as well as Floyd’s does

Tonight Gill and I take them to the vets for their annual booster injections against feline flu and lymphoma. Neither Floyd nor Coral are great fans of the vets but compared to my sister Lisa’s old cat Kali (?Sp), who would fight tooth and nail, they are no real bother to get there. Whilst we are there we will get Floyd’s left eye checked out because it has looked a little...I don’t know...’strange’ over the last few days. It doesn’t seem to be bothering him or anything but we’d feel happier getting it looked at.

As an upholstery/carpet/LP/flesh saving exercise we’ll also get their claws clipped as they are getting particularly razor like at the moment. So, what with the injections, clipping, some litter and dry food we are looking at a bill of £100+ and that’s before we consider any further cost accrued for treatment of Floyd’s eye, if required. Still our lives would be a much emptier place without them so the money is not begrudged, much. It’s also a hell of a lot cheaper than the £300+ it cost us to have Floyd seen to after he was savaged by a dog earlier this year. I recon he was just getting too old and couldn’t evade the attack as he had done a number of times in the past. It’s a bugger this ageing malarkey.

Finish What Ya Started

About 2 months ago I received a very nice surprise in my pay packet in the shape of about £1k as a result of having been slightly underpaid for the past couple of years. Now anyone who knows me will understand just how large a hole this instantly started to burn in my pocket. Before I had even confirmed with payroll that there had been no error made I was planning just what I could spend all this lovely money on. After dismissing the obvious first thoughts such as “how many CD’s could I buy?” I decided I needed to purchase something ‘substantial’.

I don’t have what you would call a hobby beyond listening to music and as I’m quite happy with my Hi-fi at the moment I didn’t see the need to replace any of my gear. So what else could I turn my hand to? And perhaps more to the point what could I turn my hand too that wouldn’t lead Gill to looking up divorce lawyers in the Yellow Pages? The answer came out of the left field and totally threw me when it popped into my mind. What was this shocking thought I hear you ask…well I decided to…wait for it…learn to play the guitar!

Now those very same people who understood the money…hole…pocket…burning scenario will know just how unlike me that decision was. I have known guitar players for years and always admired their skill and the sound they could create but never once had I expressed an interest in playing. In fact I hadn’t even picked up a guitar in my life before never mind tried to play one. This was going to make selling the whole thing to Gill a very interesting exercise.

I need not have worried though Gill was very understanding and after getting over the initial shock of my announcement she agreed that I could buy what I wanted but with one proviso, which I will come to later. How did I get Gill to agree? Well I was honest, as simple as that. Remember earlier when I said I had no real hobbies? What I said to Gill was that I was sick of wasting my evenings coming in from work and plonking down in front of the TV or PC and vegetating. What I needed was something to do in the evenings that would take some hard work and dedication to achieve but I could do by myself, hence the guitar playing. I didn’t want to be in a band or get up on stage or anything, I just wanted to be creative and work my mind a bit harder.

Buying the guitar was my next challenge…what should I be looking for?…what other gear would I need?…what sort of price should I be paying?…and how do I know the shop is not ripping off the poor schmuk guitar virgin? Facing this challenge I did what I always do in such a situation, research by buying several relevant mags and surfing the internet. All this really did was confirm how little I knew and just how much guitar gear was actually available. What I need was a guide to take me through all the info and pinpoint the important stuff and prepare me for that trip to the now dreaded instrument store. So I turned to an old friend from my college days, Val, who also works at the hospital and arranged to pop around and pick the brains of her guitar playing husband, Russ.

To call Russ just a guitar player is doing him an injustice he is a very, very talented musician and a good friend to boot. Russ is one of the North East’s stars of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal scene having played with Satan, Blind Fury and Pariah (pretty much the same band with a different name/line ups). He is currently creating a stir around the pubs and clubs here as the leader of the Russ Tippins Band performing both lead guitar and vocal duties. So armed with a few bottles of beer I headed around to have a chat and try to get my head around what I should be looking for/asking. Russ’s solution was simple, he would take me shopping at the weekend and play the guitar so I could be sure I liked what I was hearing and ensure I wasn’t buying a duffer. What a guy!

I have to admit that on the way to town with Russ my stomach was tying itself in knots…was I really planning to spend money on something I couldn’t use?...would they make me try and get a sound out of something?...would everyone in the shop stop and stare at the sad old git going through his mid-life crisis?...can you really teach an old dog new tricks? Russ asked me if I had any preferences on what type of guitar I would like and if I was trying to get a particular kind of sound. After digesting my answers he suggested I should look at a Les Paul style of guitar but to also see if anything else in the shop caught my eye and with that I walked through the door…

Russ had brought me to Sound Control on Dean Street in Newcastle as he had had dealings with them before and knew the staff well. Standing in the shop I could feel the guitar clad walls closing in on me and I nearly crapped myself when Mark the assistant came over to us. Thankfully Russ took control of the situation and once we had confirmed the type of thing we were after Mark pulled a couple of guitars of the stands and handed them to Russ to put them through their paces. In the end we only listened to three guitars because it quickly became obvious that what I wanted and what I was going to buy was an Epiphone Les Paul. All that needed to be determined was which model was going to win out and that was decided by Gill’s one proviso…”it has to look gorgeous”.

I finally walked out of the store with a Flame-top Epiphone Les Paul Custom, a Line 6 Spider II 15 watt practice amp, a Korg CA-30 Guitar Tuner, a guitar bag, lead, strap, stand and a selection of plectrums. I can’t remember the exact price I paid for all of this but I do remember that I needed a couple of drinks afterwards. Russ left me at home with my new gear, a couple of quickly taught cords to practice and the telephone number of a guy who taught guitar and may be prepared to take on a total novice. I pulled up a chair, strapped on the Epi (that’s what we guitarists call an Epiphone), got my fingers into position and started to strum...

So why am I telling you all of this now? Well after a couple of weeks of practicing and getting my fingers used to the sheer agony of fretting the strings I stopped playing, just stopped. Work was becoming a distraction, I was considering changing jobs and my workload was increasing and I used this as an excuse to do nothing other than sit and vegetate in front of the TV or PC once again. The guitar stood on its stand in the living room accusing me every time I walked past it and Gill was biting her tongue desperate to say something but knowing I was punishing myself enough.

Yesterday my annoyance at myself got too much and I finally cracked. The telephone number Russ had given me was sitting at home so rather than let the moment pass I searched the internet and found the number of the Northern Music Centre in Heaton who provide one to one tuition and gave them a call. I now have a date with one of their tutors and I feel as if I have cleared a huge hurdle. I look forward to finally starting what I had set out to do. I’ll keep you posted at various times on my progress but I don’t think any will be as important as that made yesterday.

Saturday Night's Alright For Drinking

I’m pleased to report that the retail foray for CD’s into Newcastle on Saturday was a success. Well a success in so much as I was able to get over the purchasing something hurdle. As for the quality of my purchases well we’ll just have to wait and see as I have yet to have a chance to listen to them properly. For reference my purchases were Sonata Arctica’s ‘Reckoning Night’ and ‘Universal Migrator Parts 1 & 2’ by Ayreon. I’ll pop something down here about them once I’ve had a good listen.

I did put the Sonata Arctica disc on yesterday afternoon but I was still suffering from a hangover following Saturday’s excesses and didn’t really take much in. Billy and I had met in town and wandered around our usual haunts before taking a breather in the Duke. Over the last year or so this has become our regular Saturday port of call replacing Trillians/The Jubilee which had held the dubious honour since about 1980. There are always about 7 different real ales on the go so we can usually find something we like. The fun is in the finding.

Suitably lubricated I felt I could approach the task of purchasing something with fewer mental shackles, and so I could. The purchases were made in RPM which, handily, is directly opposite the Duke. Whilst not the cheapest store, I guess Windows still holds that title, it has a great selection of music from early 60/70’s rock to up to the minute dance, with most points in between. I know I’ve become something of a regular fixture here because the staff have started to greet me in the street/pub/metro etc.

After making the purchases the obvious thing to do was celebrate which we decided to do in the Newcastle Arms. Known as the Top Arms due to the fact that there also used to be a Newcastle Arms near the Quayside which was know as…yes, you’ve guessed it…The Bottom Arms. The celebratory ale was Port ‘o’ Call from the Bank Top Brewery in Bolton. It was a lovely dark strong porter and a pleasant change from the usual light summer ales you get at this time of year. I always enjoy having a drink in the Top Arms due to the characters you tend to get in there. They and the pub itself are a bit rough and ready but I’ve never felt in the least bit uncomfortable in there…not sure what that says about me though…hmmm?

This was certainly turning into one of those days where your capacity for more alcohol seems limitless so Billy and I made an executive decision to tell Steph to meet us back at my house. I hurriedly phoned Gill to make sure all the crap that was lying around on various chairs and the floor was cleared away but, bless her, she had already done this in anticipation of my actions. So off to the local Co-op for some wine and nibbles and a pleasant evening was spent listening to a couple of albums, watching some wonderful dodgy 80’s rock videos and generally having a good chin wag…life rarely gets better than this.

We're all going on a ......

The deed is done…we have finally booked our holiday. The lucky hotel is the Casa Fuster who will be relieving us of about 1.4K for the privilege so we are hoping for something really f**king special for that kind of money. Of course Gill is now in a panic about her wardrobe’s suitability for such a prestigious lodging. Me, I’ll just make sure my t-shirts are ironed. Well I’ve got to make an effort.

So whilst one saga has been resolved the continuing slapstick comedy that is Newcastle United does it’s best to keep the rest of the nation amused. Today’s non bombshell is that Jermaine Jenas (JJ) is not enjoying himself at Newcastle at the moment. This obviously has nothing to do with the fact that Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United are all batting their £ shaped eyelashes at him, oh no. Rather he feels as if he is “living in a goldfish bowl” in Newcastle which would, no doubt, be much less of a problem for poor JJ in London or Manchester.

To be honest I’m not sure I would be too bothered if some cash rich mugs were to part with £10-12M for the player. He is, it seems, yet another of Newcastle’s young starlets who’s play has failed to match their supposed potential. In the three and a half years JJ has been here at Newcastle we have seen flashes of brilliance but no real consistency of good form and last year he was, if anything, consistently poor. Others this slight could also be levelled at include Kieran Dyer, James Milner, Titus Bramble and Shola Ameobi amongst others. Not the ideal assessment of a large proportion of your first team squad is it?

Tomorrow I plan to meet up with Billy, we have of course not arranged this yet, and attempt to splash some cash on a couple of CD’s. I say attempt because, as Gill has just reminded me, we have to try and save some spending money for when we are away. With this sort of pressure I’ll probably walk around several record shops with handfuls of discs only to put them back at the point of purchase. Both Billy and I are past masters at this technique and could easily have sizably larger CD collections/debts without it. Both Gill and Steph are eternally grateful for this flaw in our psyches.

Told you so.....

Well the Newcastle result last night was not quite as I had predicted although the outcome remains the same, no European football until next season at the earliest. The performance was about what we could have expected at this stage of the season and with the team we put out. We looked bereft of ideas on how to get the ball forward and an aged, slow Alan Shearer is not going to frighten many defences this season from open play. James Milner grabbed our goal but once again failed to impress, his crossing both from open play and dead ball situations was appalling.

The positives to come out of the game were in the shape of the performance of our two new midfield players Emre and Scott Parker. Both were making their debuts and Emre in particular looks as if he could cause problems for opposing teams with his dead ball delivery. They worked hard throughout the game and even when it was obvious we were not going to get anything out of the tie they still played with intensity.

The defence, responsible for the 2 goals conceded, is not our ideal starting back four but due to injuries and lack of transfer activity is the one likely to start the season against Arsenal, joy of joys. The newspapers this morning have linked us with a loan move for Inter Milan’s left back Francesco Coco…I’ll forgo the clown jokes for the moment. Coco has played sparingly over the last couple of seasons for Inter and spent some time on loan with Barcelona. He has the reputation of being a bit of a playboy (when will we learn?), owning several bars in his hometown so he should feel quite at home down on the quayside. I wonder if Graeme Souness has been picking Emre’s brain about possible Italian recruits.

Meanwhile the holiday saga continues and if it goes on much longer it will be a Saga Holiday we will need to book. I have finally gained agreement on the dates I can take so hopefully that is the last hurdle to getting something booked. The dates we want to be away for include week 3 of the La Liga season and Espanyol are playing host to Real Madrid so I think tickets for that may be in order. In a previous visit we had the pleasure of catching Barcelona against Fiorentina in the Champions League and would look forward to seeing another game.

Pessimist Corner

Well things went better yesterday than I had hoped and it looks like we’ve decided on a hotel, well 3 actually. Yeah I know that’s not exactly practical but as Gill said “it gives us options”. The hotels in question are Casa Fuster, Grand Marina and the Pulitzer and all have their good points. If we were being honest both of us would rather stay at Casa Fuster but it is the most expensive choice at about £200/night and hence the ‘options’. Gill is also going to contact the Neri, a hotel we have previously stayed at, just as another of those helpful options.

Gill is phoning each hotel today just to confirm availability and the tariff whilst I am making sure that yes I can have the required time off work (fingers crossed). The time was agreed(ish) earlier this year but we have had some staff changes i.e. loses recently and the booking of annual leave is not as straight forward as it used to be. I should have just booked the whole of September and then cancelled the leave I didn’t require, ho hum.

Tonight, on a totally different note, Newcastle United entertain Deportivo la Coruna in the second leg of their Intertoto Cup tie. We trail 2:1 from the first leg and so will go through on the away goals rule if we win 1:0. Of course that will never happen and I imagine that we will go out in a blaze of disappointment on penalties after we concede a last minute goal after leading 2:0 for most of the game. Pessimistic? Nah, just fatalistic, you try being a Newcastle fan; it’s not much fun you know.

A few years ago Newcastle regularly challenged for a Champions League place and were disappointed if they fell into the UEFA Cup. How things have changed, we were luck to even make the Intertoto this year after finishing a lowly 14th in the Premiership. This season looks like it could be more of the same if we don’t secure the services of a couple of new strikers of proven quality. So far we have been linked with Mark Viduka (lazy, oft-injured, fat Aussie – no thanks), Nicolas Anelka (falls out with every team he has played for and there have been a lot) and Michael Owen (talented England striker so unless he has had a lobotomy we have no chance of landing him) and unfortunately the only one I can see keeping our physios busy this season is Viduka….aaarrrggghhh!!!!!!!

Random Mark Viduka quote…

“I wouldn’t mind if we lost every game as long as we win the league.”

…speaks volumes.

Summer Holidays

For the last 2 months Gill and I have been promising ourselves a holiday in September, preferably in Barcelona. In all that time we have managed to book nothing and any effort to do so has been met resistance in an “I can’t take in all this info, so I’ll not look” kind of way. No names mentioned but it has frustrated me on a couple of occasions. This problem is becoming almost critical with time rapidly running out.

Over the years Gill and I have succumbed to the finer things in life and I’m afraid a 5* or very good 4* is a pre-requisite. This tends to have a soul destroying effect on our Bank Manager and the longer we leave it the more the poor bugger is likely to suffer. A cursory glance at a couple of websites this morning reveals we will be very lucky to get away with anything less than a grand for the 7 nights we had planned. Despite having all of September to play with this price seems fairly constant for all dates.

To further complicate matters there are several gigs throughout the month that we would like to attend such as Jeff Scott Soto on the 6th, Gov’t Mule on the 11th, Budgie on the 15th, Waysted on the 19th plus a Philip Pullman lecture on the 27th. Add to this the Heritage Open Days on the 8th-11th you can see something might have to give. My personal preference would be to see Gov’t Mule (we already have tickets), Waysted and Philip Pullman but we’ll have to see, Gill/the Gods (same thing?) might have other ideas.

So I think tonight we will be looking for 4-5* hotels in the centre of Barcelona that have large rooms (junior suite?), sun terrace/outdoor pool, bar, restaurant, and are in close proximity to the Metro system, all for less than a grand. Should be a piece of cake then! I have a feeling the price we want to pay will have to become somewhat elastic, 1.3K would be my guess. It sounds like a lot of money but we both love the city and its laid back pace of life. It is one of the few places we find we can both fully relax and because we have been a number of times before we don’t feel pressurised into trying to cram as much as we can into our time there. Let’s hope tonight is as stress free, I’ll not hold my breath.