I feel the need, the need for speed.

As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts I have been having problems with the speed of my broadband connection. This hasn’t been a sudden problem but rather a steady deterioration of the speeds I’ve been able to get. Under normal circumstances this wouldn’t have been too much of a problem, it’s not like I do a whole load of downloading apart from a couple of podcasts each week, but it has seriously impacted on my Warcraft game play. Trust me a 2 second delay is no fun on an instance run and means instant death in PvP.

The chaps at the online Virgin help desk have been anything but helpful and to be honest fairly patronising at times. The first chap told me that everything was fine at their end so the problem was probably with BT but as I was due a free upgrade to 8mb the reconfiguration of the line should sort out my problem. “Just give it a couple of weeks after the upgrade and you should notice the difference because you are so close to the exchange you’ll get the full 8mb. Oh, and the upgrade should be made within the next 7-10days”. So three weeks in which I will experience fluctuating connection speeds but with a super fast connectivity at the end of it all.

Of course it didn’t quite work out like that, despite the upgrade being made in the quoted timescale my connection speeds some 4 weeks later were averaging at about 0.8mb with lows of 0.2 and the occasional high of 1.6. So another visit to the Virgin help desk and after being ignored or disconnected by a couple of operatives I finally got through to someone. After explaining the history of my problem this new chap said the problem was neither with themselves or BT but rather much more likely to be the fault of my PC. Explaining that I had probably installed something which was using all of my bandwidth, such as my security software, he suggested I check the PC. He then proceeded into a jargon fest that left my limited PC knowledge stuck at the first sentence. When I asked him to put it in words of one syllable he obviously couldn’t be bothered and suggested that I get someone in who knew what they were doing to have a look at the PC. Jeez thanks a bundle.

Not knowing anyone locally who could help I sent out a distress call to my online chums who kindly responded by taking me through things stage by stage to check my PC out. The end result seems to be that there is nothing obvious on there that should cause me to slow down so dramatically and everything appears to be set up correctly. My final check is to take a laptop from work home and check to see if I have the same problems using that and hence confirm my PC is OK. I hope this gets sorted and I don’t have to resort to an ISP change, I’ve been with Virgin since getting an internet capable PC some 10+ years ago and feel something of a bond with them (i.e. I can’t be arsed to go around changing the email address for all my newsgroups etc.).

Hot And Heavy

Well what a great night Friday turned out to be good food, good company and too much to drink, a great combination. To be honest after a pretty crappy day at work half of me just wanted to soak in the bath and get an early night in but luckily the other half won the argument and off I went to the great NWOBHM curry get together.

I wasn’t sure how well I would fit in to be honest; these guys had known each other for years and all are still playing whereas I met some of them a couple of times and I haven’t picked up my guitar in the year since I was diagnosed. I needn’t have worried as everyone was more than welcoming and the conversation was general enough to allow me to add my two pennies worth, surprising them on occasion with snippets of info I threw into the mix.

Not surprisingly the conversation centred on music both past and present with stories of missed opportunities rubbing shoulders with those of lucky escapes. Poor Ian McCormack, not present and unable to defend himself, came in for some severe ribbing for his exploits from his time occupying the drum stool with Satan (may have been Pariah or both but let’s face it they are the same band anyway). The falling asleep on the toilet story in particular had everyone choking on their drink and wishing they weren’t eating, cheers Russ. Another highlight was our table serenading Kev to the strains of Angel Witch as he came back to the table from the loos much to the confusion of all the other punters and Kev’s great annoyance.

With the poor waiters wanting to return Khan’s to some semblance of normality we departed to the Corner House for further libation whilst waiting for our cabs. The general consensus was that the evening had been a great success and we should all make an effort to repeat the proceedings in the not too distant future i.e. we may get around to it sometime next year.

Both Kev and Russ came back to my place afterwards in a cunning ploy to get one of them to restring my guitar which had been A string less since a cack handed retune in December. Well that and the fact that Gill would have killed me if she had missed the opportunity to see Kev before he headed back to sleepy Kent on Tuesday. The usual digging into the CD collection to find stuff they might like ensued and I scored big time with Nantucket Sleighride by Mountain. OK so it was a safe choice but surprisingly neither of them had heard the whole thing. The Coheed and Cambria DVD also went down quite well especially as Kev was planning to blow a shed load of money on a Gibson Explorer the following day.

The night’s proceedings came to an end at about 3am when it was decided that any further intake of alcohol would prohibit the passage of neural impulses to our leg muscles. Packing Russ and Kev on their way I made my way to bed and after sleeping through most of Saturday I eventually returned to some semblance of sobriety on Sunday.

Making A Meal Out Of The NWOBHM

So much for my keeping up to date with this, sheesh. Paul’s Best Of 2006 CD is going to have to wait a little longer for a review as it is still in the car and I haven’t had a chance to sit down and write a few notes yet. Well when I say ‘haven’t had a chance’ what I mean is that I found other things to do, mainly playing WoW although even that has problematical. More of which later.

I won’t be reviewing or playing WoW tomorrow night as I’ve had an invite from Russ to go out for a curry ‘with the lads’. ‘The lads’ in this case are all members/ex-members of various NWOBHM bands. We have Russ himself (Satan, Blind Fury, Pariah), Kev (Angel Witch), Shaun (Raven, Satan, Pariah, Tytan etc etc), Steve (Satan, Blind Fury, Pariah, Skyklad), Bean (Satan, Blind Fury, Pariah, Skyklad), Alan (Tysondog, Satan, Pariah) and a couple of others who I’m not sure I’ve met yet.

I’ve met all the guys individually or in pairs before so it should be interesting to see what it’s like what they are like when they are all together in one place. I’ll try my best not to feel out of place. Luckily I got a copy of John Tuckers excellent book on the NWOBHM from Gill for Christmas so I should be up to speed on the subject. It has also caused to cruise Amazon in search of long lost gems from the likes of Trespass and Avenger as well as instil the need to go to my parent’s house to hunt out my old 45’s.

The Sword and The Broad Beast

So after yesterdays review of Billy’s disc we come to that supplied by Rob. As I would have expected this offering follows much more of a Classic Rock route than that of Billy and to my ears much better than his 2005 offering. OK on to the review, I give you ‘The Sword and The Broad Beast’...

Space Ship One – Paul Gilbert. This is the one artist that Rob has raved about whenever I have spoken to him this year, non-stop. I was never a huge fan of either of Gilbert’s previous bands Mr Big and Racer X, finding them inoffensive but far from riveting and I guess I feel the same about this. It is very well played stuff that reminds me slightly of Triumph but doesn’t excite me that much, I would happily sit through an album but don’t think I would buy unless I saw it in a bargain bin somewhere.

Come On Up – Girlschool. I was surprised that this lot were still playing never mind recording so I wasn’t expecting this. An updated sound for the girls who are obviously trying to please both old fans and any newer rock fans who stumble across this. Have they succeeded? Well I guess they have to an extent. Would I buy the album after I’ve heard this? No.

Moment of Truth – Bob Catley. You know exactly what you are going to get with Bob, well written, well produced, AOR tinged, hard rock and that’s just what we have here. OK so his voice is not what it used to be but it is still miles better than most vocalists out there trying to produce this sort of stuff and it always brings a smile to my face whenever I hear it.

Control Freak – Roxie 77. Not what I expected to hear on a CD from Rob in that it is a very modern punk/pop/rock track in the vein of Blink 182, Sum 41 et al. The vocalist reminds me of someone but I’m damned if I can pinpoint who just yet. I would be interested to hear more from them.

Rock ‘n’ Roll – Michael Schenker Group. Despite all the crap surrounding Schenker he still occasionally pulls off a blinder, just not this time. It’s not a bad track by any stretch but just not great. The vocals by Graham Bonnet (?) are better than we have heard on an MSG release for a while but where is the solo Michael?

Starlight – Muse. One of the more accessible songs on their latest album and this brings back great memories of a sea of bouncing heads at the Arena.

Heaven and Hell – Benedictum. I still can’t quite believe that this is a female vocalist, but it is, apparently. This is a very nice cover version of the Black Sabbath classic in that it does not just give us a note for note reproduction but they put their own spin on things.

Night of Passion – The Poodles. Yeehaa, it’s the 1980’s all over again, at least that’s what the Poodles would have us believe. They are perhaps the most hyped melodic rock act at the moment along with Wig Wam and they do capture the sound well but I don’t think they will go on to have a lasting or particularly successful career. Lightweight froth...but harmless.

Pay Me My Money Down – Bruce Springsteen. This is more like it. A great drinking tune that sounds as if the band had been practicing for some time. I much prefer Springsteen doing this looser stuff than the MOR rock radio fare he is better known for.

Hard Rock Hallelujah – Lordi. I love the Eurovision Song Contest anyway but this year was something special as Finland gave us a night to remember. I hold my hands up and admit that I did vote for this lot. Twice.

Gonna Get You Someday – Wig Wam. Although they pretty much follow the same formula as The Poodles I think they pull it off slightly better. You send the whole song picking out eighties bands they sound like with Bon Jovi being the most obvious on this track.

Not Ready To Make Nice – Dixie Chicks. When I first heard this I thought it was Maria McKee so they can’t be half bad. I really enjoyed this and will definitely check them out further.

Boneman – From Behind. Featuring one time Samson vocalist Nicky Moore and Manny Charlton once of Nazareth, From Behind offer up an album of good blues rockers. I don’t think is the best track on the album but still well worth a listen.

It’s Not Me – Paul Stanley. Great pop/rock from the Kiss front man. It’s well to be seen where the musical talent lies in the Kiss camp. If he compares this to his own solo release I bet Mr Simmons is spitting blood.

Fighter’s Fist – Taz Taylor Band. Another blues rocker this time with Graham Bonnet on vocals. Graham has had a long, fairly successful career and it is beginning to show just how long in his voice. Still this is better than a lot of stuff from more hyped acts...The Answer, Roadster anyone?

Scattergun – Web Wilder. Now this is a little different, and some. A story song along the lines of Floyd Cramer’s Big Bad John or Stan Ridgway’s Camouflage. I like this, it made me smile.

Rock Bottom – House of Lords. This is really just James Christian and a few hired hands and it sounds like it .

Alive – Meat Loaf. This is typical ML, throwing everything into the mix and hoping to come out with a grandiose masterpiece. It didn’t work in the case of the awful piece of clichéd crap.

Down By the River – UFO. Ah, my favourite band of all time with a track from their new album The Monkey Puzzle. I didn’t get the album when I first heard it and I still don’t get this now. There are some great vocals here, great guitar passages and an excellent rhythm section underpinning it all but the end result is less than the sum of its parts, shame.


There wasn’t a lot on this that I didn’t like, some stuff I could take or leave and a few things I will make an effort to hunt out, very similar to my reaction to Billy’s disc. Tomorrow I will hopefully post my views on Paul’s disc which would complete this years selections.

A Matter of Life and Death (It’s More Important than That)

As promised here is my take on the ‘Best of 2006’ offerings I have received, starting today with that from Billy. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you “A Matter of Life and Death (It’s More Important than That)”......

Peace Among the Ruins – Presto Ballet. Both Billy and I eyed this up over several weeks in Windows and Billy bit first. In many ways I’m surprised I didn’t jump for it as I thoroughly enjoyed Kurdt Vanderhoof’s 2 solo efforts but there you go. This has a very strong Kansas vibe and if you throw in a bit of ‘80’s Rush you will get the general idea.

Pure – Lost Horizons. It’s like listening to Monowar on steroids with passages frighteningly reminiscent of the ‘Flashing Blade’ theme tune. Not sure I could sit through a whole albums worth but I would give it a go and I enjoyed this track in isolation.

Some Sane Advice – DeadSoul Tribe. Basically a solo effort from Devon Graves this is a lot more listenable than I had imagined it might be. The one song that keeps coming to mind when I hear this is Cat’s in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. I think I’m going to have to check these out a bit more.

House of Plague – Wolverine. Hard to pinpoint this one as they seem to be covering as many bases as they possibly can. The guitarist sounds very similar to Alex Lifeson and Queensryche are perhaps the band that they resemble most closely. Have to say I don’t like the cymbal sound on this, for some reason it bugs the hell out of me.

Volte-Face – Riverside. Polish band who play fairly straight ahead modern prog. Considered by many to be at the vanguard of modern prog alongside Porcupine Tree. Not really sure what to make of this, it’s just a bit boring and it doesn’t really do that much for me.

Song Of Our Depair – Circulus. I guess the obvious comparison for this lot are Jethro Tull with a bit of Steeleye Span thrown in for good measure. I do like this and will probably hunt out the album to purchase at some point.

Vicarious – Tool. This came very close to making my own ‘Best of’ but matters of space meant it was omitted at the 11th hour. I love the disturbing, staccato riff and excellent bass sound.

The Other Me – Frost. Roland Keating’s songwriter turns prog(ish). Very eighties in feel with quite obvious nods to Gary Numan and Tears for Fears amongst others. Not my cup of tea.

Fly – Blind Guardian. The only track to double up between Billy and myself so I obviously can’t argue with this choice.

People – Kino. Prog ‘supergroup’ with members from Marillion, It Bites, Porcupine Tree and Arena. Sounds like a mish-mash of all the above and doesn’t really convince me that I should be looking any closer at their releases.

For the Greater Good of God – Iron Maiden. 9 minutes of epic Iron Maiden and it does exactly what it says on the tin. I can see why most critics have hailed this as the best thing to come from the Maiden camp in years but personally I would rather listen to either of the first two albums.

Witchcraft – Wolfmother. Regressive Rock anyone? I love this and was one of the tracks from the album under consideration as my own choice.

Knights of Cydonia – Muse. The off the wall album closer from Devon’s finest. Manages to merge Telstar and the theme from any number of spaghetti westerns into a protest song. Has to be heard to be believed.

So there you go Billy’s picks of the year. Only a couple that didn’t do anything for me which isn’t a bad ratio and a few bands that I will be actively looking out for from now on. Next up the offering from Rob.

Resolutions

I’m not one for making resolutions but this year I’m going to….because I can.

• This site needs an overhaul, I want to continue on a regular basis so a rethink and redesign is imminent.
• I’m going to learn to play the stringed plank of wood under the stairs, not because I feel I have to but because I want to do something constructive.
• I’m going to be more aware of my actions and the impact they have on others, not because I feel I have done anything wrong but because I feel I could be doing some good.
• I’m going to enjoy the days I have here and not take them for granted, which is a trap I have fallen into recently. So a rethink of my largely sedentary existence and a makeover for my fat rich diet, I don’t want to waste what I’ve been given.

So there you go two posts in one day. You can pick yourself up off the floor now, that is if anyone still visits this dead-zone. I will be posting my own reviews of the ‘Best of 2006’ efforts from Rob, Paul and Billy over the next few days which should give me time to think of something else to write.

That Was The Year That Was

Barrons ‘Orrible Crap – The Revulsion Is Right (The Best of (?) 2006)

Nosferatu – Bloodbound (Taken from the album Bloodbound). Ok so it’s cheesier than a fromagerie but this is none of your plastic supermarket rubbish, this is high quality stilton. Great vocals from Urban Breed who has since left the band and a lovely chugging riff. It goes on for a minute or so longer than it should but, hey, I can forgive that.

Everyday – Slade (Taken from the album The Live Anthology). Remastered and re-released this year this is a great package pulling together 4 live recordings. Often thought of, somewhat unfairly, as a bit of a joke band this proves they could write a damn good love song and Noddy has one hell of a voice.

Push It To The Limit – Jon Oliva’s Pain (Taken from the album Maniacal Renderings). A straight ahead, good, old fashioned rock song recalling early Savatage (surprise). Can’t wait to see this lot ProgPower.

Hoodoo – Muse (Taken from the album Black Holes and Revelations). It’s as barking as a pack of hunt hounds and totally, totally wonderful. Muse delivered the gig of the year and quite possibly the album of the year too.

Mr. High & Mighty – Gov’t Mule (Taken from the album High & Mighty). They are perhaps suffering from taking a genre as far as it can go but each new album has a couple of tracks which suggest there is life in the old animal yet. Here we have the best AC/AC riff not written by a Young brother and a typically strong vocal performance by Warren Haynes.

Fly – Blind Guardian (Taken from the album A Twist in the Myth). Something of a return to form after the rather poor A Night at the Opera released back in 2002. It was great to see them this year in Dublin and hopefully we’ll get to see them again in the near future.

Save Me – Edguy (Taken from the album Rocket Ride). I could have picked several tracks from this album but in the end, due to space issues, you’ve got this power ballad and it’s a cracker. This, I imagine, will be performed acoustically at every live show from now on in, it just has that ‘feel’ about it.

After This War – Masterplan (Taken from the album Aeronautics). Dominated by Jorn Lande’s best Coverdale/Hughes impersonation I wouldn’t have been surprised to find this on a recent Whitesnake release, if we’d ever had one. Typically Jorn has since left the band as seems to be his style.

Sam I Am – Sammy Hagar and the Wabos (Taken from the album Livin’ It Up). THE feel good album of the year, the whole thing exudes fun. On this track we find Sammy in autobiographical mood but I would have been happy to put any of the tracks from this on my Best Of.

Broken – Sonata Arctica (Taken from the album For The Sake of Revenge). A great live recording and one which, along with the accompanying DVD, has convinced Gill that we have to go and see this lot play. I particularly love the way the guitar ‘jags’ away in the background.

Where Eagles Have Been – Wolfmother (Taken from the album Wolfmother). Australias finest young rockers evoke the ghosts of Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath on a truly great debut album. I could have picked any of the tracks from the album to go on here but this is my current fave.

Orale – Los Lonely Boys (Taken from the album Sacred). Man this guy can play, imagine Santana but listenable. It took me a while to get into their second album, I don’t know why, but I’m glad I persevered because if anything, it’s better than the first.

Oliver Twist – Astral Doors (Taken from the album Astralism). Almost as cheesy as Bloodbound, imagine the bastard child of Dio and Accept and you have Astral Doors. Did a great job when supporting Blind Guardian in Dublin and Gill loves this album, so here they are.

Trivial/Travellers in Time – Inner Wish (Taken from the album Inner Strength). The finest power rock band in the whole of Greece, although I’m not too sure they have much competition. Everything tells me I shouldn’t like this but I do, though I can’t place why *shrug*.

A World Of Hurt – Drive-By Truckers (Taken from the album A Blessing and a Curse). The only band to challenge Muse in both the gig and album of the year stakes. Stunning.

Trip To The Fair – Renaissance (Taken from the album Scheherazade and Other Stories). Neither recorded nor re-released this year but I did buy it on CD for the first time in 2006 so here it is, the scariest song ever written. I still can’t listen to this alone in the dark, as much as I really, really want to.

So there you go that is my selection for 2006. I make no claims that this is the best music recorded during the year but each of the albums touched me in some way and that’s all I can ask for. Honourable mentions should go to a couple of bands who didn’t make it onto this list for reasons of time or just catching me at the wrong moment when I was compiling this disc: Tool, Pure Reason Revolution, Leaves Eyes, UFO (still don’t get it), The Moody Blues, The Strawbs, The Derek Trucks Band. Copies will be wending their way this week to the usual suspects and I might even pass a couple on to the likes of Russ, Sharon and Sid…if you are really unlucky.

Best Albums of 2006 (in no particular order as it changes daily)

Jon Oliva’s Pain – Maniacal Renderings
Muse – Black Holes and Revelations
Drive-By Truckers – A Blessing and a Curse
Wolfmother – Wolfmother
Sammy Hagar and the Wabos – Livin’ It Up

Best Gigs of 2006:

Muse – Newcastle, Arena
Coheed and Cambria – Newcastle, Academy
Drive-By Truckers – Byker, Cluny
Waysted – Newcastle, Trillians
Blind Guardian/Astral Doors – Dublin, Temple Bar Music Centre


Biggest Disappointments of 2006:

Not keep this blog up to date
Not having the willpower to practice my guitar
No holiday this year, and..................................................

UFO – The Monkey Puzzle…errr OK guys I’m puzzled, now what?

Best Thing About 2006:

Being alive to type this!

Things I’m looking forward to in 2007:

Doing this blog….honest!
Learning to play my guitar….I really need, and want to do this.
Life

Loss

Blogs can do some pretty weird things to you over time and one of the weirdest is becoming close to people you don’t really know. You read about their life’s ups and downs and become emotionally tied to their trials and tribulations feeling both pain and joy along with them. If you have had the pleasure, or otherwise, of meeting the subject of a blog this empathy is often intensified.

Today I have read, with great sadness, of the passing of Doreen Smith, a person who I believe I have actually met on a couple of fleeting occasions back in the eighties but whom I have grown to know through the words of her son. It is difficult to express the emotions I am feeling right now but I know they will be magnified a thousand fold for Sid and his family. I just want to take this opportunity pass on my deepest condolences and to tell Doreen that I miss her.

Gill’s Gone

Gill headed off to Manchester today to visit with Kath and Gary who have recently moved up from Enfield. Gill has know Kath since their days together at North Staffs Poly and they have kept in touch ever since. Well when I say they’ve kept in touch it has usually been at either mine or Gary’s prompting but, hey, that’s women for you. Gill is taking advantage of a week or so’s holiday to make the visit for a couple of days. It will be nice for them to get together for a good old chin-wag because it must be about 3 years since they’ve met in person.

The holiday has been taken in order for Gill to have some time to come to terms with turning the dread four-o on the 17th. I get the distinct impression she is not fully looking forward to the big event but there are some advantages to becoming an old git. We spent Saturday morning in Newcastle perusing jewellery in Richard Sintons as an attempt to purchase a present from me and by Jove I think we may have cracked it. Not that Gill knows what she is getting, although I’m sure she has a good idea, but an order has been placed and hopefully we will have it before the 17th.

I’ve also taken a few days holiday as part of my phased return to work so hopefully we will be able to get out and about a bit. The weekend is pretty much spoken for with the Cumberland Arms in Byker having its annual Organic Beer Festival and a meal planned on Sunday evening with Gills family so it could be a hectic few days.

Party Politics

I think I am falling out of love. Stop panicking Gill, not with you. No, I think I’m falling out of love with playing D&D. Yesterday was our first session in quite a while and I left feeling deflated and I enjoyed very little of the play. I think the reason for this is that the sessions are becoming unwieldy and very little of the time we spend together actually involves any game play. Rather we spend what seem to be hours plotting, planning and generally chatting and perhaps only an hour or so playing the damn game.

One of the big problems at the moment is that we are playing a mixed alignment party with a couple of Lawful Good characters at one end of the spectrum and Shaun and I playing Chaotic Neutral characters at the other. Now being a ‘role playing’ game Shaun and I have taken it upon us to cash in on some of the less savoury sidelines that our good colleagues would shun. This has led to some friction with other players as we have extra funds coming in that they are not party to. I don’t know how this situation can be resolved. Do Shaun and I stop role playing and toe the party line? In which case we may as well have rolled good characters in the first place, or do we soldier on and wait for the inevitable straining of friendships/relationships to become serious?

I think another problem is that we are nearly all playing World of Warcraft now and the spirit of cooperation within the guild there is very high and maybe people are expecting that to follow on in D&D. But we are talking about 2 very different game systems with very different rules; D&D is a much more complex beast. D&D is pure role playing while WoW is very much an arcade game with some aspects of role-play bolted on. Strong personalities can be much more dominant in the D&D setting because of its immediate, face to face nature unlike WoW where the barrier created by the computer interface deadens their impact.

I know it can be annoying when other characters appear to be ripping off the rest of the party but that’s the way it goes sometimes, I know, I’ve been on the receiving end many times in the past. Perhaps, in hindsight, we should have insisted that the party alignments were a maximum of one step away from each other so this sort of conflict wouldn’t occur. But, hey, we didn’t and we have to play with what we’ve got, the CN members of the party have also gone along with stuff they haven’t agreed with, so...

All in all I can’t be bothered. It’s only a bloody game and I’m not going to let it ruin my current feeling of well being. Should we ever play again I’ll give it one more go but if I leave feeling the same way as yesterday that’s it, I’m through with it.

Whathisname?

Earlier in the week I had a phone call from Paddy saying that he had arranged a drink after work on Thursday as a welcoming back event in my honour. What he had failed to mention was that rather than staying in town he had decided it would be great fun to head up the Tyne Valley to the Boat House in Wylam. This made logistics a bit interesting and I decided that I would limit myself to a couple of drinks with everyone in town before they head off on the train. I didn’t think I would make it into work on the Friday if the night went on too long, which wouldn’t have been an auspicious start to my return to work.

I made my excuses at the rehab session and left before the relaxation talk that was planned and raced home to drop off my sweat drenched kit (you really wanted to know that didn’t you?) before making my way up to the Bodega. The selection of beers during the summer months in most pubs tends to veer towards a light, hopy “Golden this” or “Summer that” with no dark ales to be seen. So, rather than take a chance on something unknown and potentially hop laden, I fell back on the old, safe standby of Mordues “Workie Ticket”. Next stop, for no reason that I could think of other than ‘It’s next to the railway station’, was the Centurion bar who have never, it seems, heared of cask beer so I switched to JD and coke.

Now at this point I had planned to say my goodbyes to everyone as they headed off on the train but persuation, or the alcohol, got the better of me and before I knew it I was on the phone to Gill wondering if she fancied driving up to the Boat House for a half before driving the pair of us back home? Luckily she was in a good mood and encouraged by the good weather agreed to my proposal. Gill and I had only been to the Boat House once together as far as I was aware but it was a regular haunt of mine during my student days. Only 15 mins away on the train it was a great place to escape to and I spent many an evening there with Steve Whatshisname debating the finer points of any crap that came to mind.

Now obviously Steve’s surname was not Whatshisname but I’m damned if I can recall it just now. I can picture him as clearly as I can remember he still has one of my Hawkwind LP’s. Ho-hum, I’m sure his name will come to me at three in the morning sometime within the next week. I remember one particularly drunken evening celebrating the release of Nelson Mandela over several pints of dark, unctuous loveliness. Anyway...

To be honest the place doesn’t appear to have changed that much. It still looks rather ragged around the edges and the locals still drink more than can be good for them but the beer is of such good quality I can understand why. They also, to their credit, had a lovely dark beer from the Hawkshead Brewery whose name unfortunately escapes me for the moment. I’m making a habit of this today aren’t I? Gill duly arrived and after an hour or so of amiable chit chat we headed back home with the stated intention of returning before the summer is out.

Slave To The Grind

It has finally happened and I am back at work. How do I feel about this? Well to be honest, for a change, very positive. I was getting to that ‘caged animal’ stage at home. Despite reports to the contrary there is only so much time you can spend on World of Warcraft, or listening to music, or reading, or wandering aimlessly around town before work begins to look like an attractive proposal.

I’m here for a half day today before heading over to my rehab class. The initial idea of today was to discuss with Paddy just how we were going to manage my return to work. Like all great ideas there was a flaw, namely Paddy didn’t show up this morning and won’t be here until after I have left. So how have I used my time today? Well I’ve wandered around the department saying my hellos to people and catching up on 3 months of gossip. I'm glad to be back.

Feels Like 1998

As I mentioned in my last post the Tour de France started yesterday minus several of its competitors including the two favourites Jan Ulrich and Ivan Basso. Both have been implicated in a doping scandal that has been unearthed in Spain and the Tour is facing its darkest days since the Festina scandal of 1998.

I have been a follower of the race since the days of 15 minute highlights each Saturday on World of Sport. In those days I didn’t really understand what it was all about but loved the spectacle provided by the likes of Eddy Merckx. As television coverage of the race became more comprehensive with the introduction of Channel 4 I gained a new found respect for the athletes who braved this most gruelling of challenges. However the shadow of drug misuse/abuse has never been far away from the sport or the race casting doubt on the legitimy of all involved.

I hope, against all odds, that the race this year manages to overcome its bad start and the start of the post Lance Armstrong era produces race and a champion who will be talked about for all the right reasons. Spanish rider Alejandro Valverde suffers the handicap of being my tip this year and, with the recent suspensions, is also now race favourite.

Abnormal Service Resumed

When, in my very first post for this blog, I stated that the posts may, on occasion, be a little infrequent even I didn’t expect a hiatus of nearly 2 months. There have been a number of factors associated with my lack of posting but nothing of any great import. I just have found other things to do. In truth I wasn’t even sure if I was going to make any further posts and Tyne Tales was just going to pass into history as another of my half hearted ‘projects’. However I have enjoyed posting here and although at times I have struggled for anything meaningful to say I will miss it if it were to go, so here I am with an attempt to get things moving again.

What has prompted this change of mind? A couple of things really, I have actually had a couple of messages asking me to update the site (I didn’t think anyone cared, thank you), and I’m about to return to work and I find the blog helps me focus on my life away from the hospital and appreciate it more. Strangely I also feel that I had more time to post whist I was working as opposed to now as I sit at home all day. Go figure.

OK I suppose an update of sorts is called for so now follows the main bits and pieces that would have appeared here had I been arsed.

• Tomorrow was worse and poor Coral was put to sleep at 13:00 on Tuesday 9th May. The house has been a much quieter and emptier place without her presence. We miss her dreadfully still.

• My surgeon, or at least his registrar, is very pleased with my recovery from surgery and a further ECHO scan has confirmed that the operation to have been successful.

• I have commenced a twice weekly cardiac rehabilitation scheme which entails going to a sports centre and doing circuit training, *shudder*.

• Been to 2 beer festivals which I’m quite sure don’t feature in any rehabilitation program. The first was in Edinburgh and Billy and I spent a very enjoyable day up in Scotland, the second in Corbridge in the Tyne Valley. I even took photos of each with the thought of posting a report, but there you go.

• England get knocked out of the World Cup on penalties yet again. We played poorly and won, to a chorus of media disapproval. We played much better and lost, happy now you pen pushing gits?

• The Tour de France starts in controversy, like England losing, no surprise there then.

OK I could go on but what’s the point? Let’s just accept things have been and gone and just take things from here.

Too Good To Be True

Well my progress has been quite remarkable so far, much better than I had envisaged at this point. I had assumed that I would still be mainly in bed and tottering around the house in great pain. Now whilst I certainly have moments of pain they are much less severe than I had thought. I have even been getting out of the house and into the fresh air.

Last Thursday, three weeks to the day from my operation, I made a trip to work in order to hand in my sick note, plus show off my scar, and then into town for a bit of a mooch around the record shops. Although I resisted temptation and abstained from purchasing anything. Friday night was spent at Graeme and Sam’s playing D&D although I did leave early in a bit of pain. Saturday marked my busiest day so far, into town with Billy in the afternoon for some CD shopping which resulted in purchases of the new Tool CD and discs from the Moody Blues, Hawkwind and Tradia to keep me going. Then in the evening off to town for my friend Ed’s Stag Night. Being all more of the mature persuasion, at least in age terms, we decided a drink and curry would be as racy as things would get although once the beer flowed it was decided to finish the night off in a lap dancing club. Well I didn’t even make the curry and decided discretion was the better part of valour and left after the drinks and even if I had the curry I would have given the lap dancing a miss. Not my cup of tea really.

I bet you are all thinking ‘Wow he’s done amazingly well to be able to do all that’, and you would be right, too well. Yesterday evening I collapsed in the house and ended up spending the night between the General and Freeman hospitals. Overdoing things was the general consensus after discounting a heart attack, so I’ve been given instructions to take things easier, a lot easier.

But none of this is why today I feel really low, so low I could cry at the slightest provocation. With everything that has been going on in my life I had lost sight of most things other than my own condition and when over the weekend I became aware that another member of the household was going through a bad time as well I was taken a little by surprise. Our wonderful little moggy Coral has been struggling with her breathing over the last couple of days and her appetite hasn’t been great for a week or so. Hence a trip to the vets this afternoon and the news that the vet fears she may have a lung tumour which would be incurable. So tomorrow we drop her off in the morning for a chest x-ray and the knowledge that we may have to have her put to sleep in the afternoon if our fears are realised. All in all a shitty day and I have a feeling tomorrow will be worse.

Update

So here I am a week into my return from hospital. I've finally gotten around to adding something here and putting some back dated posts up so if you want to know what has been going on just check the last 4 or 5 posts.

I'm still in pain, espacially at night, but nothing that I can't live with and it's improving all the time. I'm still not sleeping through but again this is improving. Overall I can't beleive just how well I feel at the moment, I thought I would still be pretty much bed bound at this stage.

Not that I've been doing much. Gill and I popped up to the Silverlink Retail Park yesterday for a mooch around Border Books for enjoyment and the various electrical retailers looking for a new answerphone and a printer for the computer. We must only have been out of the house for an hour or so but I was jiggered by the end of it. It was nice to be out of the house though.

No Place Like....

I got home today and already I feel a million times better for it. My life is now my own to control, well OK it’s Gill’s to control but, hey, close. I still can’t believe that 5 days after such major surgery I sitting in my own house surrounded by the things that make me feel comfortable. God it’s good.

I left the ward this afternoon carrying what looked like one of those American, brown paper, shopping bags packed to the gunnels with pills of every kind. I’m still not convinced by my pain control but I am convinced that if I had stayed on the ward any longer I would have got an infection or died of boredom.

Home Run?

I had a better night last night, not a good one by any means, but better. I still woke with pain although perhaps only an 8 on the scale and with the help of some extra meds was able to get back off to sleep for a fitful but needed hour and a half. I was by this point quite knackered through the day and was able to snatch a couple of hours just lying on my bed which did help. It has now been 4 days since my surgery and I was thrown something of a curve ball by the medics, would I like to go home today? What? Did I just hear you right, home? I didn’t know what to say, of course I wanted to go home but I didn’t think my pain was suitably controlled yet, what should I do?

In the end I opted to stay on the ward for another night to try and get some more control of the pain. I didn’t feel sufficiently confident to trust my care to the current meds with no chance of an extra shot of something if required. I think this was the right decision to make it would have been unfair on Gill to put her in the situation of panicking about my meds. So I condemn myself to another day of boredom and stale hospital air.

Ouch

Pain. Such a simple word and yet such a complex beast. Throughout my care I had been pain scored on a scale of 1-10, where I had to judge at which level my pain currently stood. As a general rule I had scored myself at about 3 for most of my stay, last night I would have put that score at about 15. I had woken at about 2:30 it absolute paralysing agony, the sort of agony that made both reaching for my buzzer to call a nurse, or even just shouting out, a physical and mental impossibility. As I lay there I would have quite happily have had someone push me out of my 4th floor window if they had told me it was the best thing to relieve the pain, no hesitation. I can’t sit here and describe exactly how I felt but the pain robbed me of all rational thought and took me to a place I hope I never have the misfortune to visit again.

After an hour and a half of moving my body a millimetre at a time I was able to get the attention of a nurse who kindly went out of her way to secure me a huge dose or oral morphine. This did manage to take the edge off the pain, reducing it to a measly 9, and I spent the rest of the night out of bed propped up in my chair. The medical staff were a little surprised that I had suffered so badly and endeavoured to ease my pain by adding….Ibuprofen. Wasn’t convinced myself, I have to say. Still maybe tonight with an extra days healing under my belt things wouldn’t be so bad.

Chit Chat

I was encouraged to be more mobile today despite the number of tubes and bags attached to me and started to potter around the ward. I was feeling much better today and was moving quite freely but it still came as some thing of a surprise when, at tea time, the medical staff decided that my painkilling and anaesthetic drivers could be removed and that I should be able to cope on oral medicaton. So I started on a course of Paracetamol and Codeine, sounds a bit ‘headachy’ doesn’t it?

The beds in the ward were filled with chest patients who had all undergone various procedures and were at various stages of their care pathway. We all got on well as a group and before long, as happens when you get a bunch of blokes trapped together, we were soon putting the world to rights. It’s funny how a place like hospital becomes a great leveller and all ideas of social position are discarded as everyone is crushingly brought to the same level by a combination of bad pyjamas and intrusive investigations. The four of us covered the spectrum from very obviously upper middle class to lower working class yet we never once found it hard to find a topic of conversation and, somewhat amazingly, steered clear of the most controversial topics such as politics and religion.